


Coming Out Never Felt So Good

by GatorGirl2016



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Bad Parent John Winchester, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Carpenter Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Falling in Love, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel and Gabriel are Siblings (Supernatural), Castiel is Protective of Dean Winchester, Castiel is a Novak (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time Having Sex, Coming Out, Dean Winchester Comes Out, Dean Winchester Has Panic Attacks, Disney References, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Homophobia, Homophobic John Winchester, Homophobic Language, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, Non-Hunter Winchesters (Supernatural), Past Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Past Relationship(s), Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Ellen Harvelle, Protective Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Teacher Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:54:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 36,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26621734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GatorGirl2016/pseuds/GatorGirl2016
Summary: Dean and Sam Winchester are brothers who own their own carpentry business. When they meet one of their best customers at a bar, Dean offers to give Cas a ride home. As Dean is dropping Cas off, Cas unexpectedly kisses Dean and cue Dean's internal freak-out. Dean is suddenly faced with memories long ago buried and choices he never expected to have to make again. With the support of his friends and family, can Dean rediscover a part of himself that he's fought to keep hidden for years? Is he willing to give Cas a chance and better yet will Cas be willing to give Dean a chance? This is the story of Dean coming to terms with his own sexuality and maybe finding love along the way.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 14
Kudos: 102





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys, it's been a while. This was originally written for a bang that one day just disappeared. I had already been paired up with an artist and she lovingly decided to still do some amazing artwork for this fic. Go check out her art at dmsilvisart on tumblr! I can't think her enough for still choosing to do some wonderful illustrations for my fic.  
> Also thanks to my wonderful Beta lonewolf34500, you totally rock!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Sam go out to a bar and run into one of their most loyal customers. Dean offers to give Cas a ride home and something happens between the two that turns Dean's entire world upside down. How will Dean handle all the memories he has long since buried when they come rushing back to the forefront of his mind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Strong homophobic language and homophobia

Dean and Sam walked into the club and immediately headed for the bar. As soon as they had sat down, a waitress approached them to take their order. She hurried off to fulfill their order while Dean turned around in his seat and perused the crowd. His gaze flitted from woman to woman, looking for someone attractive enough to warm his bed for the night.

“Dude, would you quit staring. Women aren’t pieces of meat you know,” Sam said over the roar of the music.

Dean grabbed one of his shot glasses and downed the drink. He slammed the glass down, a cocky grin on his face. “Oh, hush Sammy, just looking to have a little fun tonight. It’s been a busy week and I need to unwind.”

The taller Winchester frowned, “It’s Sam and since it’s been so busy, why don’t you go home and get some sleep? I know I’m exhausted.”

“Why don’t you go home and get some sleep if you’re tired. Not my fault you overloaded us with orders, and we had to work overtime almost every night this week to get everything out on time,” Dean argued as he downed another shot.

“I would rather be spending the night with Eileen but you’re the one who forced me to come with you. I don’t really feel like playing your wingman tonight jerk,” Sam replied, rubbing at his face tiredly.

Dean turned and glared at his brother. “Then go home bitch if you don’t want to be here. Sheesh, sorry I’m such a bore to be around!”

Sam scoffed, “I don’t know what your issue is tonight but if you’re going to act like an asshole then I will text Eileen to come pick me up.”

“I..I don’t..I don’t have an issue,” Dean spluttered as he slammed down his third shot for the night.

Before Sam could say another word, someone took a seat a few stools down from them and Dean instantly switched his attention from his brother to the stranger. Sam looked over his shoulder and grinned. He glanced back at his brother, a blush staining Dean’s cheeks.

“So, that’s what’s got you all pissy,” Sam smirked as he took a sip of his drink.

Dean choked on the liquid he had just swallowed. He wiped the alcohol off his chin as he scowled at his brother. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I told you I’m fine.”

Sam cast a bitch face towards his brother. “Yeah except one of our most popular customers and the guy you’ve been crushing on for like the past year just sat down at the bar. Not to mention he picked up his order today and you guys flirted for nearly half an hour.”

Dean slammed the bottle down hard enough he was surprised it didn’t shatter. “I do NOT have a crush on him, and we did NOT flirt! Cas is a valued customer and I just wanted to make sure that he was pleased with his purchase!”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Riiiight. So, how come you are always the one to take his orders, make his orders, and deliver his orders? Anytime you talk about him, you get this dopey smile on your face and your eyes light up. And, you guys totally were flirting today. You pulled out more moves today than you’ve ever done with a woman.”

Dean looked aghast at his brother’s words. “I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about! I didn’t pull a single move with Cas today.”

Sam crossed his arms and frowned at Dean. “You winked at him and started off the entire conversation with a cheesy pick up line. You took your long sleeve shirt off and totally flexed your muscles. You smiled at him like a dozen times. You touched him just as many times on the shoulder and the arm and one time you brushed your knuckles across his cheek. Oh, and I’m pretty sure for half of the conversation you guys were undressing and fucking one another just with your eyes.”

“You are blowing this whole thing out of proportion. I say stupid things all the time, doesn’t mean it’s a pick up. It was ridiculously hot so of course I took the shirt off. Cas is a friend so why wouldn’t I smile at him? He had a speck of dirt on his cheek that I wiped off for him. He’s got really nice eyes, so sue me if I like to look at them,” Dean argued.

“Dude, you weren’t just appreciating his eye color,” Sam replied, not even trying to contain the laughter bubbling out his throat.

Dean started to retort but was cut off by a low, “Hello Dean. Hello Sam. What a coincidence to run into you here.”

The two Winchester brothers spun around to face Castiel. Sam’s face broke into a smile as he replied, “Hey Castiel. We come here a lot so it’s kind of surprising that you haven’t run into us before now.”

“Oh, I normally don’t come to establishments like this but it’s my brother’s birthday and I couldn’t refuse to accompany him. I just came to the bar to get a drink and hopefully away from some of the noise. I’m finding it an impossibility to escape the noise though,” he shouted to make sure they heard him.

“Yeah, that’s kind of how it is in a place like this. So, where’s your brother at anyways,” Sam asked over the roar of the crowd.

Cas shifted to scan across the writhing bodies before pointing to a short man with long golden hair in the middle of the floor grinding between a guy and girl. “My brother Gabriel is the short man with the long blonde hair underneath the disco ball. It seems he is enjoying himself without me. I wish I could leave but he’s my ride home.”

“I could take you home if you want,” Dean offered out of nowhere.

He watched as Sam smirked at him and Cas tilted his head. “I live twenty minutes away on the opposite side of town. It would be out of your way to take me home Dean, but I appreciate the offer.”

“Pshh, doesn’t matter Cas. Sam was about to text Eileen and have her pick him up and I was about to head home myself,” Dean lied without second thought.

He ignored the pointed look from Sam and watched as Cas contemplated his offer. The other man chewed at his bottom lip and flicked his eyes between Dean and the floor. Finally, after a few moments’ hesitation, he sighed but nodded his head.

“If it really isn’t any trouble then I would appreciate you taking me home. I would enjoy being able to get away from this crowd and the noise,” Cas replied, a look of desperation clear to see.

Dean smiled as he slid from the seat and grabbed Cas’ shoulder in his hand. “No trouble at all Cas. Why don’t you go tell Gabe while Sam and I pay for our drinks?”

Cas nodded and then walked off to his brother without another word. Dean watched him for a second before looking back at Sam who had a shit eating grin lighting up his features. Dean pulled his wallet out and dropped some money on the counter before tucking it back in his pocket.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that,” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I wasn’t planning on texting Eileen and you had no intention of leaving. And since when do you call him Cas?” Sam was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Dean’s face turned beet red. “I’ve called him that for ages so why are you making a big deal out of it?”

“Uh huh. Whatever, I guess I need to go text Eileen and have her come pick me up. I’ll see you tomorrow Dean,” Sam called as he walked away.

Dean waved to his retreating back and waited for Cas to return. A few minutes later he walked up, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his trench coat and a frown on his face. His ebony locks seemed to be more mussed than usual not that Dean paid much attention to his hair.

His eyes were turbulent cerulean seas as he came to a stop in front of Dean. “It is a very good thing that you offered to take me home Dean. It seems my brother has found two people to occupy himself with tonight and completely forgot I had ridden with him. Then again, with the amount of alcohol he has consumed, it’s a miracle he can still stand.”

Dean tried not to chuckle at how adorable Cas looked all flustered. “Faggot,” a low voice growled in Dean’s mind.

He shivered and shook his head as that thought crossed his mind. Guys were not cute and even if they were, Dean had no business thinking such things.

He flashed Cas a smile, “Hey, like I said no problem. Let’s get going. I’ve got work in the morning and Sam will murder me if I don’t get up on time.”

Dean started walking, forcing his way through the crowd, Cas following close behind. He nearly jumped out his skin when he felt the other man curl his fingertips around the waistband of Dean’s jeans. It was obvious he was afraid to lose Dean in the crowd.

As they made their way to the exit, Dean tried not to focus on the warmth spreading from Cas’ fingertips. The man was barely touching him, and Dean could feel goosebumps breaking out on his skin. He bit his lip and did his best to ignore the sparks and trudge his way through the throng of sweaty bodies.

“Winchester’s aren’t faggots,” the low voice echoed in Dean’s head again.

As he stepped onto the concrete outside the club, he took a deep breath of fresh air trying to cleanse his muddled brain. He fought back the whine rushing up his throat when Cas removed his fingers. He couldn’t understand why such a small touch had felt so good especially when it came from another guy.

“Finally, we are away from all that commotion. My head was starting to split in two with how loud it was in there. How do you frequent such a place on a regular basis,” Cas asked as he followed Dean to his car.

He shrugged as he pulled the keys out to unlock Baby’s door. “Used to it, I guess. I wind up here at least once a week.”

Cas waited for him to reach over and unlock the door. He slid into the seat, shaking his head the whole time. “There is no possibility that I could ever become accustomed to a place like that.”

Dean’s lips curled up in the corners. “You teach at a high school; it must get loud there at times.”

Cas frowned as he stared at Dean, “Even pep rallies and football games are not as cacophonous as that was.”

Dean snorted at the word choice. He had long since got used to the unique way Castiel spoke, almost as if he were from another time period. “Alright Cas, I don’t have a clue how to get to your place.”

Cas gave him the directions and once Dean confirmed he knew how to get there, he started Baby up and drove out the parking lot and onto the road. They drove in silence for a few minutes, but it was too quiet for Dean and he didn’t want to miss an opportunity to talk to Cas.

“So, how old was your brother turning?” Dean turned the volume on the radio down so they wouldn’t have to compete with the music while talking.

“It was his fiftieth birthday,” Cas said absently as he stared out the window.

Dean nodded his head. “That’s cool. I can’t believe the man is twenty years older than me; he doesn’t look it.”

“I didn’t know you were thirty. You don’t look that old,” Cas said as he turned his head and appraised Dean.

Dean grinned, “Yeah, must be all the vegetables Sam forces me to eat. Darn kid is like a rabbit and always made me eat the required servings per day when we were growing up. Hell, he still does since we live together. Even though I usually make dinner, he ensures I cook veggies or else he bitches.”

Cas chuckled at the teasing, “Sam is hardly a child but at least someone monitors your dietary habits. From what I’ve gathered, you would be content to live on burgers and pie.”

“Damn straight. Love a good burger and a slice of pie. My mom made the best pies. Her cherry and apple pies were to die for,” Dean smiled as he thought of his mother’s cooking.

“They were the best,” Cas questioned softly.

“Yeah, she passed away a long time ago,” Dean replied solemnly, refusing to look at Cas for the moment.

Cas glanced at Dean. He placed a hand gently on Dean’s arm. “I’m so sorry Dean. I didn’t know your mother had passed away. What happened if you don’t mind me asking of course?”

Dean shrugged, “She passed away when I was fifteen. Her and dad went out for a date. On the way home, they were t-boned by a truck. Doctor said she passed away on impact and never felt a thing. Small mercies, you know. After that, dad was never really the same. A part of him was lost and he was never able to get it back.”

Cas increased the pressure against Dean’s arm, hoping to convey a sense of apology and comfort to the man. “I’m sorry Dean. Were you close to one another? My own mother and I are estranged. She never accepted the fact that I was gay, and I never knew my father.”

“Yeah, we were pretty close. She doted on Sam and me. She would bake for me all the time and she would buy Sam any book he wanted. Even as a kid, he was a huge nerd. Dad was always the gruffer of the two and he sometimes would take his anger from a bad day at work out on us. Mom would always wrap Sam and I up in her arms and sing us a song before bed. After she died, dad got even worse. Sam and I learned to stay out of his way pretty quick,” Dean explained, a grimace etched on his face.

“I’ve never heard you talk about your family besides Sam. I know why now. What happened to your father, is he still alive,” Cas asked with a tilt to his head.

“Dad passed when I was twenty-two, almost twenty-three. He got completely wasted and shot himself in the head,” Dean replied, his mouth set in a tight line.

“That must have been awful. What did you and Sam do,” Cas questioned softly.

“I had just finished college with a double major in furniture design and entrepreneurship since Sam and I already knew we wanted to start our own company. Sam had graduated high school and was set to go to college in the fall. I’m sad to say that dad’s death didn’t affect me too much.”

Dean paused his speech and Cas wondered if he was going to continue. He gave Dean’s arm another light squeeze. Dean sighed before going on with his story.

“My dad and I had a complicated relationship. We had hardly spoken before I even went to college. By the time he died, I had an apartment of my own and Sam came to live with me while going to college for finance and architecture. I was working with a furniture design company at the time, waiting for Sam to get his degrees. During his senior year, we started figuring out how to start our own business and by the time he graduated, we had successfully created Winchester Bros Furniture Company,” Dean finished proudly.

“I understand complicated relationships. My mother and I haven’t spoken since I told her I was gay when I was sixteen. She kicked me out of the house that very same day. If it wasn’t for Gabe, I don’t know what I would have done. He’s the only one in the family who talks to me,” Cas said as he stared out the front window.

“Yeah, it seems like he swings for either team from what I saw at the club,” Dean commented.

“Gabe identifies as pansexual and genderfluid. He never cared what our mother or brothers thought of him. At seventeen, he told our mother she could fuck herself and walked out the house and never looked back. He was the inspiration I needed to come out. Without his support I might never have told my mother the truth about my sexuality,” Cas explained.

“I’m glad you had his support. Your mother is an ass and she didn’t deserve you anyways. You’re a pretty cool guy regardless of the gender you prefer,” Dean said as he flashed a small smile at Cas.

Cas returned the smile, “Thank you Dean. You’re a wonderful friend. I’m glad I gave you a chance when I was looking for custom furniture for my home. You and your brother have never let me down.”

Dean blushed under the praise, “Thanks Cas for giving us a chance. You are definitely one of our number one customers. All your rave reviews brought more business in than we ever imagined. Hell, we’ve been slammed all week because Sam overbooked us. I mean, I’m glad we’re so busy but I told Sam we might need to consider hiring a third hand if we continue to stay this way. I don’t want to lose customers because we are too busy. I mean what a reason to lose business.”

“Would you be willing to have a few interns? My high school offers some design and architecture classes and they can earn extra credits if they can find an internship outside of school. The company that used to work with the school went out of business. Maybe you and Sam could fill that spot,” Cas suggested.

Dean contemplated the idea, “You know, that sounds like a good idea. I’ll talk to Sam about it. Thanks Cas.”

“You’re welcome Dean. My house is right up here on the right,” he pointed out a medium sized house on the corner.

Dean pulled into the driveway and put Baby in park. He turned slightly so that he could face Cas. He looked at the man and noticed a stray hair hanging in his face. He reached out and slid it behind Cas’ ear before pulling his hand quickly away, a tiny smile on his face.

Cas looked up and locked eyes with him. Dean was so lost in their depths, he never processed that Cas was leaning forward until a pair of lips pressed against his own. For a moment, he enjoyed the feel of another pair of lips against his.

In the next moment, he was jerking away, shock apparent in his eyes. “Cas, what the hell man,” he exclaimed.

Cas’ eyes widened in surprise. “I was kissing you.”

“Yeah but why? I’m..I’m not gay dude,” Dean said, his voice getting more high pitched.

Cas’ entire demeanor changed. His shoulders slumped, he cast his eyes to the ground, and the corners of his lips turned down. He reached for the handle of the car, scurrying to get out the vehicle. He was halfway to the door of his house before Dean’s brain caught up and he hurried after Cas. He grabbed the man’s shoulder and spun him around just before he reached the door.

“Cas, dude, would you hold up,” Dean hollered.

Cas refused to look up from the ground, “Dean, please let me go. It’s obvious I completely misread the situation and I would like to keep from embarrassing myself further.”

“You didn’t embarrass yourself. I just can’t figure out why you kissed me in the first place,” Dean said.

“I thought the past few times I’ve come to your business, you were flirting with me. Today, we spent half an hour talking and the entire time, I thought you were hitting on me,” Cas explained, still staring at the ground.

Dean licked his dry lips, “Why.. why would you think that?”

Cas finally looked at him, his eyes squinted. “Dean, you smiled at me nonstop and you kept touching me going so far as to rub your knuckles against my cheek. You made your impressive muscles well known when you removed your shirt. All of those are attempts at flirting or so I’ve been told. And, just now in the car, again you were staring at me and you tucked my hair behind my ear. I thought it was you making a move; I was obviously mistaken.”

Dean struggled for something to say. “Cas.. I.. I never meant to lead you on and I’m sorry. I’m flattered that you would be interested in me, but I just don’t feel the same. You’re a great guy and I’d love to continue being friends but that’s all we can be is friends.”

Cas slowly nodded, his gaze back towards the ground. “Thank you, Dean, for not being cruel about this. You’re not the first guy I’ve had this happen with. Maybe I really don’t know signs of flirting. I would like to still be friends; you are one of the few that I have.”

Dean smiled softly, “Cas, just because I don’t like you like that doesn’t mean I’m an asshole. I would never judge someone for their sexuality. I’m sorry you’ve had such bad experiences with others. I’m sorry I reacted so badly back there in Baby.”

“You reacted a lot better than one guy. He slapped me and then threw his drink on me,” Cas replied sadly.

Dean really didn’t want to send mixed feelings, but he couldn’t help but gather Cas into his arms. “That man was a total douche. I would never do anything like that.”

Cas pulled away from the embrace. “Thank you, Dean. I should be going. I may not have work in the morning, but you do. You don’t want Sam to be mad at you for waking up late, right?”

Dean grinned, “Right. I’ll see you later Cas. Have a good night.”

Cas waved at him as he headed back to Baby. “Good night Dean. Have a good day at work.”

Dean waved one last time before slipping into Baby and heading home. The whole drive, his thoughts were a swirling mass of confusion. He couldn’t believe he had been flirting with Cas unintentionally and had led the poor guy on. Sure, he was a great guy, but Dean was straight, straight as an arrow.

As Dean pulled into his own driveway and turned the car off, he felt a single tear slip down his cheek. He wiped it away, refusing to acknowledge what it meant. He stumbled into his house and up to his bed. He shed his clothes and dropped into the bed in nothing but his boxers. He pulled the covers over his head and slipped into dreamland.

*************

Sixteen-year-old Dean walked into his house, his friend Benny following along behind him. His dad was at work and Sam was having a sleepover with a friend, so they had the house all to themselves. They headed to the kitchen, both starving after having been at school all day and then having to go to their baseball practices. They each played for their high school’s team.

Dean headed straight to the freezer and pulled the box of pizza rolls out. He showed them to Benny who nodded. Benny grabbed a plate and set it on the table and then Dean poured the whole box of rolls onto it before putting them in the microwave. While Dean set the timer, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist.

He smiled as he turned around so that he could face Benny. The Cajun leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to Dean’s lips. “So, how long do we have before your dad gets home?”

Dean blushed as he answered, “About three hours. Got any idea of how we could pass the time?”

“Trust me cher, I’ve got plenty of ideas but first I need to get some food in you or else you might not have enough strength,” Benny quipped.

Dean wiggled his eyebrows, “You plan on tiring me out big boy?”

Benny kissed him again, this time with a little more force behind it. “Trust me cher, by the time we’re done, you won’t be walking very much over the weekend.”

A shiver of anticipation traveled down Dean’s spine. “Mmm, can’t wait.”

The microwave dinged signaling the food was ready. They scarfed the rolls down before heading to Dean’s room. They had been secretly dating for over two years now and only a few days ago they finally had sex for the first time. They were both eager for a repeat performance.

Benny slammed Dean against the wall of his room, plundering his mouth. Dean couldn’t decide where to put his hands, so he constantly traveled them over Benny’s body. He mewled as he felt Benny’s hand rubbing against his already hard cock. They broke apart, gasping for air.

“Babe I want you please,” Dean whined as Benny started kissing down his neck.

“Why don’t you get out of those clothes and show me how much you want me,” Benny drawled in his thick Cajun accent.

Dean pulled away and quickly stripped out of his clothes before laying on the bed, his legs spread wide apart. Benny growled low in his throat, quickly divesting himself of his clothing before joining Dean on the bed. As they kissed, their hips grinded against each other, increasing the friction to their erections.

Benny reached down between them and stroked both their cocks, the copious amount of precum helping to ease the slide of his hand. Being young and hormonal, both of them were already on the precipice of orgasm.

“Babe, close, please stop, want you in me,” Dean begged as he felt his orgasm quickly approaching.

Benny pulled his hand away and reached into Dean’s bedside table, searching for the lube he knew was hidden there. He also grabbed a condom. He dropped the package on the bed as he squirted lube into his palm.

Dean lifted his legs exposing his puckered entrance to his boyfriend. He shuddered when he felt a slick finger probe at his hole. He gasped as the lone finger slid into him. He threw his head back and moaned as Benny started sliding the finger in and out.

One finger quickly became two which turned into three and before Dean realized it, Benny’s condom covered cock was sliding into him. His nails raked against Benny’s tanned back as his channel was stretched wider than his boyfriend’s three fingers.

“More, please more,” Dean whimpered.

Benny started to speed up his thrusts when suddenly, “WHAT THE FUCK?”

Dean froze as he felt his blood run cold. Benny had stilled above him as well. They both knew who that voice belonged to; the one person they had been avoiding since they started dating. Dean looked around Benny’s shoulder and saw John Winchester standing in the doorway, his face full of fury.

“Dad,” he started.

“I want you in the kitchen in five minutes. Benny, I want you out my house and don’t ever come back,” John snarled as he turned on his heel.

“Cher, I…”

“Just go Benny,” Dean said despondently.

They separated and dressed quickly. Benny went to kiss Dean goodbye, but he refused to let Benny touch him. He saw the hurt in his eyes but said nothing as Benny walked out the room. He waited a minute more before heading downstairs. He found his dad in the kitchen, leaning against the table, a beer bottle hanging from his hand.

“I can’t believe you boy. I didn’t raise a faggot for a son! What’s worse, you were letting Benny fuck you! It’s bad enough you were with a guy, but you couldn’t be man enough to at least fuck him,” John shouted, each word a punch in the face to Dean.

“Dad, I.. we were just fooling around,” Dean stammered.

“I don’t give a fuck Dean! No son of mine is going to be some rotten fag!”

“Of course, dad, I promise it won’t happen again,” Dean replied, feeling like a child.

John grinned maliciously at his son as he set the bottle on the table. “You’re right, it won’t happen again, and I intend to make sure you never bring another boy home again.”

The next ten minutes were the worst and most painful of Dean’s life. By the time his dad walked out the kitchen, Dean was lying on the floor huddled into as small a ball as he could get. Every inch of his body hurt after all the kicks and punches he had received. Every breath shot pain through his chest and his right eye was swollen shut. Blood filled his mouth while it also poured from his broken nose and split lips. He tried to move and collapsed to the floor, unable to support his weight.

He struggled to pull his phone out and call Sam. His brother came running into the kitchen fifteen minutes later. He was horrified to see his brother laying on the floor covered in blood and rapidly appearing bruises.

“Dean, what happened? Are you ok,” Sam cried as he fell to the floor next to Dean’s side.

“Got mugged, barely managed to crawl home,” Dean groaned.

“What? Does dad know,” Sam asked aghast.

“No, just got home right before you came in,” Dean was barely able to gasp out.

“Ok, I’m going to get dad and we will get you to the hospital,” Sam shouted as he rushed from the kitchen.

When John and Sam returned, John had a scowl on his face. Dean knew he wasn’t happy about having to take him to the hospital. It was a good thing they had though. Dean ended up having a concussion, two broken ribs, a broken wrist, severe bruising, and a broken nose. The hospital had questioned what happened and he told them he had been mugged on the way home. They accepted the answer readily enough and Dean was discharged a few hours later with multiple prescriptions, all of which he threw in the garbage. He knew his dad wouldn’t get them filled anyways.

Dean would spend the next month in agonizing pain. After that day, he dropped from the baseball team and never spoke to Benny again. When people asked why he and Benny no longer hung out together, he just told them things didn’t work out. Dean never even looked at another guy after that. Until Cas came along.

*************

Dean woke with a start, sweat pouring down his face. It had been over a decade since the incident with John and he had done his best to bury it as far as possible inside his subconscious. He rubbed at his arms, phantom pains shooting through his whole body. He did something he had refused to do that day; he cried. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. Sobs wracked through his body as tears poured from his eyes.

His crying was so loud he didn’t hear the door opening or the shouting of his brother. “Dean!”

He looked up to see Sam standing in the doorway, his eyes wide with panic. Sam rushed over to the bed and stood there, unsure of what to do. He was shocked when Dean stood up and buried his face in his chest. Sam wrapped his arms around his brother slowly, afraid to spook him even further.

Dean cried for nearly ten minutes before the tears finally ran dry. He slumped against Sam in defeat, uncaring that his brother had seen him in such a state. Sam maneuvered them until they sat on the bed side by side. They sat there in silence, neither knowing what to say.

Sam finally ventured, “Wanna talk about it?”

Dean sighed heavily, “No, but I don’t think the problem is going to go away. Especially with Cas being a constant presence.”

“So, there is something with Cas,” Sam asked.

Dean shook his head, “No there’s not.” He paused and took a deep breath, “But he did kiss me last night.”

“What? Dean, that’s awesome! You guys would be cute together,” Sam gushed.

“No, it isn’t and no we wouldn’t! Cas and I can’t be together… like that,” Dean replied, repulsed at the idea.

“Why not? What’s wrong if you and Cas dated? It’s obvious you have a thing for him,” Sam argued.

Dean shot to his feet, “No, I don’t Sam and I can’t. It’s…it’s not right.”

Sam was confused at his brother’s words. “Dean, I don’t understand. I mean, I know you’ve only been with girls for like the past fifteen years, but there was that time when you were with Benny.”

“Don’t mention him,” Dean snarled.

“Look, I know things didn’t work out between you guys, but you can’t think every relationship with a guy will end like that. Cas seems to really like you,” Sam said softly.

Dean wanted to deny his feelings about Cas, but he had kept the truth from Sam for so long. He was tired of lying to his brother. Dean sobbed, “I lied about me and Benny!”

“What?”

Dean sat back on the bed; his head buried in his hands. “I lied about what happened, Sam. Benny and I didn’t break up because things didn’t work out. And I wasn’t mugged either. It was dad,” he finished on a whisper.

Sam shook his head in disbelief. “Dad was the one who hurt you? Why would he do such a thing? Dean, you had to go to the hospital!” Tears were starting to fall down his cheeks as he spoke in a broken voice.

“It was because he caught me with Benny. We were in my room, doing you know, and he caught us. He told Benny to get out and for me to meet him in the kitchen. He said I was a faggot and it was even worse that…that I was on the bottom. He said he was going to make sure I never brought another guy home,” Dean explained, his voice barely loud enough for Sam to hear.

“I don’t know what to say Dean. I can’t believe he would do something like that. I mean, he was our father. How could he do that,” Sam asked.

“Dad said Winchesters aren’t faggots.”

“Dean, just because you like a guy doesn’t mean that you’re…that. Dad should have been mad at you guys for having sex at sixteen or not using a condom but not because you were with a guy. I wish you would have told me the truth.” Sam wrapped an arm around Dean’s shoulders.

“I didn’t want you hating him. He was our dad, he was all the family we had left,” Dean said simply.

Sam shook his head, his lips curved in a scowl. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care if he was our family. He should have never done that to you.”

“I should have least talked to Benny. I can’t imagine how he felt afterwards. I regret it so much,” Dean replied, his shoulders slumping.

“You should have but I understand why you didn’t.” Sam paused before adding, “You know I would never act like dad. I don’t care if you prefer women or men or both. I just want you to be happy Dean.”

“Thanks Sammy. I don’t really know what to do right now, but thanks for the support.”

Sam hugged Dean tightly. “It’s ok, take the time you need. Why don’t we go build that dresser Ellen ordered to take your mind off things?”

Dean nodded, a small smile on his face. “I like that idea. And Sam, thanks for being the best little brother I could have asked for.”

Sam grinned brightly at him as he headed out the door. Dean got dressed and headed to the kitchen. After a small breakfast and couple cups of coffee, they headed out to their workshop to get started on their orders for the day. Thankfully, they only had five orders to complete and then they would be able to take some time off.

Working was the best thing for Dean as it allowed him to take his mind off the events of the previous night and his nightmare. When he worked, it was like he entered a zone and all he focused on was the piece of furniture in front of him. He couldn’t afford to think about anything else and screw up an order.

Around noon, they stopped for lunch. Sam headed inside to fix lunch for the two of them and Dean stayed outside, trying to finish up the dresser he was currently working on. He had just finished painting it when he heard a voice clearing behind him. He dropped the paintbrush in a nearby sink before turning around.

He was surprised to see Castiel’s brother, Gabriel, standing in his driveway. He grabbed a rag to wipe his hands dry and then walked over to the man. He hadn’t realized how short the man was last night in the club. He was nearly half a foot shorter than Dean.

“Uh, you’re Gabe, Cas’ brother,” Dean asked, coming to a halt in front of the man.

“Yeah, I am. You’re Dean, right? Cas described you two and he said Sam was extremely tall with long brown hair. You’re tall but unless my brother has gone colorblind, your hair ain’t exactly brown,” the man said good naturedly, a broad smile lighting up his brown eyes.

Dean chuckled, “Yeah, I’m Dean. You wanna come inside? You could meet Sam and see if Cas described him well enough.”

“I would like that. Thank you for the offer.”

The two men headed back up the driveway and walked into the house that Dean and Sam shared. They walked towards the kitchen and Sam looked up when he heard footsteps. He seemed surprised when he laid eyes on Gabe.

“Wait, aren’t you Cas’ brother from the club last night,” Sam asked as he set a bowl full of fruit on the table.

“Yeah, I’m Gabe. Gotta say Cas was spot on when he described you. I didn’t mean to interrupt you guy’s lunch.”

“It’s no problem, you can join us if you want. It’s just simple sandwiches, chips, and fruit,” Sam offered.

“Uh sure, why not. Thank you,” Gabe said as he took a seat at the table.

Once all three men were settled, they passed around plates piled with meat, cheese, and veggies. Sam also added a healthy portion of fruit to his tray with a handful of chips. He glared at his brother until Dean acquiesced and put a handful of fruit on his own plate. Gabe watched them, a look of amusement on his face.

“So, Gabe, is there any specific reason you stopped by,” Dean asked around a mouthful of sandwich.

“Dean keep your mouth closed when it’s full of food,” Sam chastised.

Dean rolled his eyes at his brother’s words.

“It’s ok. Cas gets onto me all the time about talking with my mouth full of food. Anyways, I stopped by to thank you Dean for helping my brother home last night. I’m afraid I got a little tipsy last night and wasn’t the best big brother I could be,” Gabe explained as he shoved a chip into his mouth.

“It was no problem man. He needed a ride home and I was willing to give it. Didn’t have to drive all the way here just for that.” Dean took another bite of his sandwich.

Gabe eyed Sam before looking back at Dean. “That’s not the only reason I want to thank you. Cas told me what transpired between the two of you when you got to his house.”

Dean started choking on his sandwich and grabbed for his beer bottle. He took a long swallow before placing the bottle back on the table. The two men stared at him in confusion.

“Dean, you ok,” Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah. Just wasn’t expecting Gabe to say that. I mean, why would Cas even talk about that,” Dean blurted.

“Cas is my brother, Dean, and tells me everything especially when the guy he is crushing on doesn’t return his feelings,” Gabe growled.

The chair Dean was sitting in skidded against the floor as he stood to his feet and walked out the kitchen. Sam winced when he heard the door slam. He looked at Gabe who didn’t seem happy about his brother’s departure.

“So, is that how your brother handles everything? Run away and refuse to talk about it,” Gabe said coldly.

Sam glowered at the man. “Look, Dean has a rough past. Our dad wasn’t exactly supportive of him when he was a kid.”

“Wait, your brother is gay?”

“I think more along the lines of bi, but I’m not sure anymore. Our dad may have…beat it out of him,” Sam replied as he played with the label on his beer bottle.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying? Your dad beat your brother because he wasn’t straight,” Gabe questioned, his expression softening.

Sam nodded his head. “Broken ribs, wrist, nose. Lots of bruises and even a concussion. Up until this morning I thought he was mugged that night. I guess that kiss with Cas last night brought up some pretty bad memories since he woke up screaming this morning. Right now, he’s pretty confused about everything. I think he thinks that every person who finds out will react the same way that our dad did.”

“I’m sorry for how I acted towards your brother. I didn’t know what he had gone through. I’m protective of Cas after what he went through as a kid. Our mother wasn’t accepting either, but she just threw Cas out the house. He isn’t quite as hard skinned as I am, takes things more to heart than I do. He’s also had some pretty bad reactions from people who he’s come out to. One guy went so far as to slap him and throw his drink in his face,” Gabe explained as he popped a piece of fruit in his mouth.

“That guy was a douche. I wish that’s all Dean went through. I’m not sure if he’ll ever be able to get past what our dad did to him,” Sam said sadly.

“The best advice I can give is just be there for him. He needs the support and he needs to know that you aren’t going to judge him for liking more than one gender. Make sure he knows that you still love him,” Gabe advised.

“Thanks Gabe. I more or less told him that this morning.”

“Well, if he needs the support, Cas and I will be here for him. Let him take all the time he needs. Don’t let him think it’s a race to the finish line. I think I’m going to get going. Your brother needs you right now.” Gabe stuffed the last of his lunch in his mouth and headed out.

He waved at Dean who was standing on the porch, just staring at the landscape in front of him. Dean gave a single nod but didn’t say anything else. Gabe walked to his car and was driving down the road a minute later.

Sam joined his brother on the porch. “Gabe said he was sorry for upsetting you. He didn’t know about dad.”

Dean looked at him horrified. “You told Gabe what dad did?”

“Not in explicit detail but yeah I did Dean,” Sam replied sternly.

“Why? Why the hell would you tell a stranger that our dad beat the shit out of me because I got caught with a guy,” Dean exclaimed, betrayal swimming in his eyes.

“Because if anyone would understand, it would be Gabe and Cas. From what I’ve learned between the two of them, they didn’t grow up in the most accepting household Dean. They aren’t going to judge you; if anything, they will sympathize with you,” Sam explained.

“I don’t need their sympathy and it’s not your place to go telling people about my past! I might not want the whole world knowing how pathetic I was,” Dean yelled.

“Dean, you were sixteen! What dad did should have never happened! I mean, Mom and I didn’t care that you guys were dating.” Sam looked away from his brother, his mouth set in a firm line.

“Well, we all knew dad wouldn’t be accepting of my deviance. That’s why Benny and I dated in secret for over two years,” Dean replied flatly.

“Dean, I know you’ve hid that part of yourself for so long, but nobody is going to care if you started…exploring that part of yourself again. I mean, Charlie is lesbian, and Jo is bi. Garth and Ash are pan. Jody and Donna are married, and Claire and Kaia are together. Ellen, Bobby, and the rest of our friends don’t care. The only person you think badly of… is yourself,” Sam finished softly.

“Yeah and what if we lose business because people don’t want their furniture built by a.. a.. a faggot,” Dean replied on a sigh.

“Well, I wouldn’t want their business anyways if that’s what they thought of you. Dean, the people who matter will be the ones who support you and love you. If someone doesn’t support you then they don’t matter. There are gonna be people who won’t like you because you’re.. bi but then again there are people who don’t like you anyways. Like Lisa, she hates you because you broke up with her,” Sam said, trying to lighten the conversation.

“Well, maybe if she wasn’t so controlling, I wouldn’t have dumped her.” Dean stared at the yard in front of him. Finally, “I don’t know if I could look at another guy without hearing dad’s voice in my head,” he admitted.

“You seem to do an okay job with Cas.”

“Yeah, that was when I didn’t realize I was flirting with him. After you pointed it out, every little thing he did or every time I thought something about him, dad’s voice rang in my head loud and clear. It reminded me that it’s wrong and disgusting,” Dean explained with a growl.

“You just need to tell yourself that it’s not. I think, maybe, if you told Cas, he would be able to help you,” Sam suggested.

Dean snorted, “And what if he finds out and doesn’t want to have to deal with all my emotional baggage and shit?”

“Then he isn’t the person for you anyway,” Sam replied immediately.

Dean tried to think of some witty remark, but he couldn’t come up with any. The truth was, he liked Cas a lot. He was afraid of what others would think even if he knew the people he cared for wouldn’t judge him. It was one thing to accept others for who they were, it was something else entirely for Dean to accept himself.

“Thanks Sam. I’m still not ready to talk to Cas or come out to anybody else but I think I will be able to with time. You matter the most to me and as long as I have your support, I’ll be ok. Just don’t tell anybody else about what happened with dad,” he asked.

Sam nodded, “Yeah and I’m sorry for telling Gabe without asking. I wasn’t thinking. I’ll always have your back no matter what.”

They turned and hugged one another. They held each other tighter than normal, needing the comfort and support of each other. They finally pulled apart with Sam heading back inside and Dean staying outside on the porch. As he thought about his conversation with his brother, his phone suddenly started ringing.

He pulled it out his pocket and was surprised at who was calling. “Cas, hi.”

“Hello Dean. Gabe told me he went to visit you this morning. I’m sorry for telling him about what happened last night. I was confused and hurt and needed to talk to someone. I didn’t imagine he would go to your place,” Cas said in a rush.

“Cas, hey, it’s alright. I understand needing to talk to someone. Sam and I have done quite a bit of talking ourselves this morning. I’m sorry for hurting you Cas,” Dean said softly, pain lacing his voice.

“I can’t exactly say it’s alright, but it was my fault. I shouldn’t have kissed you…”

“No, Cas,” Dean interrupted. “It was my fault. I lead you on, even if it was unintentionally. I… I do like you, but there’s some things I’m trying to come to terms with and I need a few days to sort my thoughts out. Would you be willing to meet me by the lake in the park off Packard street on Wednesday?”

“Yes, Dean, I would be willing. All I ask is that you make your intentions clear Dean. I don’t read social cues very well and I need to know where we stand,” Cas asked timidly, afraid Dean would be upset with the request.

“Yeah Cas, I can do that. I promise to make everything very clear and if you still have questions then ask them. I want everything out in the open between us.”

“Thank you, Dean. I will see you Wednesday.” Cas already sounded more like himself after Dean’s affirmation.

“See you then Cas, bye,” Dean replied, a smile lighting up his face.

“Goodbye Dean.”

After his chat with Cas, Dean went to find Sam. They spent the rest of the day putting the finishing touch on the rest of their orders. All of them were scheduled to be picked up the following day and then the brothers had planned on taking a well-earned weeklong vacation. Sam and Eileen were going to spend it camping in the mountains while Dean was going to relax at home and do some tune up work on Baby. Thinking about Wednesday, maybe he would spend his vacation doing more than drinking beer and laying on the couch all day.

The next day was spent packing up orders and getting them ready for pickup. Sam got all the finances up to date while Dean cleaned the workshop down after the last order had been picked up. Once the door to the workshop was shut, Sam hurried upstairs to shower and pack before heading to Eileen’s. Dean made sure to double check Sam had everything before giving his brother a hug and wishing him fun on his trip.

After Sam left, Dean relaxed for the rest of the evening before heading to bed. He spent most of the next day in the garage working on Baby. It had been a while since he got to be under her hood, and he was enjoying getting to do some mechanic work. Once he finished working on her, he decided to give her a wash down as well. By the time she was dry and shining, Dean was soaked from a mixture of water, soap, and sweat. He headed inside to take a shower and then decided to head to the Roadhouse for dinner.

He pulled into the parking lot an hour later, making sure to park in the back since he didn’t trust somebody to not hurt his precious car. When he walked inside, he headed straight to the bar. He had no sooner sat down than an older blonde woman was standing in front of him.

“Hey Ellen,” he said, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he beamed at her.

“Hey honey. Been a while since I saw you in here. How are you and that moose of a brother,” she asked as she set a beer in front of him, the lid already popped.

“We’re good; been crazy busy this past week. Did you find the dresser to your satisfaction?” He took a swig of his beer.

“Psh, of course I did. Nearly smacked Ash upside the head when he almost dropped it while unloading it. It looks great in my bedroom; so much better than the other one I had. Are You having your normal?”

“Of course. What kind of pie you got tonight,” he questioned, a sparkle in his eye.

Ellen laughed before replying, “All of your favorites: cherry, apple, and pecan.”

“Damn woman, how am I supposed to pick just one? You know what, ring me up for a slice of each and I’ll take some home with me.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “I swear, you and your pies. Better not tell Sam. You know he gets on your ass for not eating somewhat healthy.”

“He and Eileen are going camping for a week so I can eat however I want,” Dean smirked.

Ellen just shook her head as she walked back to the kitchen to put Dean’s order in. Dean looked around and was surprised the place wasn’t busier for a Sunday night. The Roadhouse was packed on any given day and usually it was slammed on the weekends.

He turned his attention to his beer bottle, picking at the label nervously. He had spent most of the day thinking about what he was going to do about Cas. He liked Cas… a lot and he wasn’t afraid to admit that. He was just afraid of how people would react about it. He knew Sam was right and that his family and friends wouldn’t care but no matter what, John’s voice always echoed in his head.

“Hon, you keep frowning like that and your face is going to stay that way permanently,” Ellen quipped as she set his food in front of him.

Dean sighed heavily, not even looking at the burger and fries sitting in front of him. He came to a decision. “Do you happen to know a guy named Castiel Novak?”

Ellen was drying off a glass as she replied, “Pretty tall, black hair, blue eyes, talks all uptight, works at the high school, and has a crazy brother named Gabe.”

Dean stared at her in shock, his mouth suddenly dry. He licked his lips a few times and replied, “Yeah, that’s him.”

“He’s really cute if you ask me and he’s single and available,” Ellen said with a wink in his direction.

“Wh… what does that have to do with anything,” Dean said, getting flustered.

Ellen was silent, thinking about what she wanted to say. She placed a hand on top of Dean’s getting him to look at her. “Honey, I know you and Benny dated for a while back in high school.”

Dean gripped the edge of the bar counter to keep himself from falling off his stool. “How in the hell do you know? We barely told anybody.”

“Mary told me. She was so happy that you were happy,” Ellen replied, a soft grin on her face.

“I was Ellen, I was happy. Benny… he meant a lot to me and he was there for me when mom died. I wonder what happened to him all the time.” Dean’s voice was solemn, as he was reminded of how things had ended between the two of them.

“So, what made you let him go? One day you guys were in here on a secret date and the next, you wouldn’t even say his name. Does it have anything to do with why you’ve never dated another guy?”

“It wasn’t really a what but a who that made me break up with Benny.” Dean’s voice was low and soft as he continued to play with the label on his beer. “My dad caught us.”

He heard Ellen’s gasp, but he didn’t look up, he couldn’t look up. “Wait a minute. You guys broke up right after you had to go to the hospital because you got mugged. Dean, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

When he still refused to look at her, she laid a hand on his forearm and squeezed lightly. "Dean, honey, look at me. Please tell me you aren't saying what I think you're saying." He finally looked up and saw fury burning in her eyes but also sadness. He blinked trying to keep the tears from falling.

“I wasn’t mugged.” It was barely more than a whisper.

Dean flopped back into his seat when Ellen released him. He watched as she slammed her hands on the counter and then started pacing. “Of all the shit John did, the fact that he… he hurt you because you liked a guy has got to be the worst. He never did deserve Mary and you boys. I begged her so many times to leave him, but she wouldn’t. Why didn’t you tell anybody the truth,” she asked brokenly.

Dean swallowed; his throat had gone dry. “I didn’t want Sam hating him, he was our dad, but also because he threatened me. He said if I told anybody about what he did or if he caught me even looking at another guy, he would hurt Sam. I couldn’t allow that Ellen.”

She frowned. “He knew your weakness and John was just enough of an asshole to exploit it. Oh honey, I’m so sorry. You should have never had to go through that.”

“After that, I did what he said. I found some girl to hook up with and I liked it, not as much as with Benny but it was good enough. Every time I even thought about a guy in anything more than a platonic way, I told myself it was wrong and disgusting. I could also hear my dad’s threats and they worked better than anything to keep me from looking at a guy. Eventually, I beat that side of me down until now, until Cas.” Dean looked at Ellen, begging her for guidance.

“Hon, you really think any of us are gonna do what your dad did? You honestly think we would care? Hell, half the people you know aren’t straight. Just look at Jo, Charlie, Claire, Kaia, Jody, Donna…”

“Yeah, I know. Sam’s already pointed that out,” he interrupted her. “Like I told Sam, you guys might not care but our customers could, and I don’t want our business suffering because of it. Sam and I have worked too hard,” Dean argued.

“If a customer has anything to say, then they can just shove their head up their ass. I assure you most of your customers aren’t gonna give two shits. You and Sam make some of the best furniture around. Besides, who cares what some stranger thinks? Their opinion doesn’t matter.” She paused before asking, “Have you told Cas any of this?”

Dean shook his head. “Not yet and I’m afraid to. What if he doesn’t want to wait for me to figure all this out? What if he doesn’t want to deal with all my emotional baggage?”

“Then he isn’t the one for you, but I don’t think you’re gonna have to worry about that. Cas is a great guy.” She grabbed a cold beer and placed it in front of him.

He grinned at her and took a bite of his now cold burger. “I swear you and Sam must have rehearsed this together since you guys pretty much said the exact same thing.”

“Yeah, well, he is the more sensible of the two of you. You want me to warm that up for you,” she offered, nodding towards the food.

“Yes please,” he replied.

Dean felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Ellen’s opinion meant a lot to him and knowing she didn’t care that he was bisexual helped to settle his fears. He wasn’t as scared to tell more of his friends and family about his rediscovered sexuality. He also couldn’t wait to see Cas.

“Here you go hon, if you need anything else, let me know,” she said as she set the food in front of him.

He grabbed her hand before she could walk away. “Thank you, Ellen, for always being there for me and Sam.”

She cupped his cheek. “You may not be my flesh and blood but you two will always be my boys. I love you guys; I hope you know that.”

Dean nodded, “We do, and we love you too.”

Once he was done with his dinner and enjoyed his pie for dessert, he dropped a couple twenties on the bar and walked away. Business had picked up and Ellen was now trying to serve multiple patrons. He waved at her as he walked out and got a smile in return.

The next two days sped by and also seemed to move at a snail’s pace. Dean knew what he was going to say but every time he thought about it, his dad’s voice would pop inside his head. When that happened, he would try and redirect his thoughts to other things. It usually worked but sometimes it didn’t. Those times would leave Dean huddled on the couch wondering if he was brave enough to tell Cas the truth.

Tuesday night, he was a nervous wreck, and nothing was helping to calm him down. He pulled his phone out and pulled up his recorded messages. There was only one person’s voice he wanted to hear at the moment. When he found the message he was looking for, he tapped on the play button.

“Dean, sweetheart, it’s mom. I can’t believe you asked me to do this, but I love that you did. If there is one thing I want you to know is how much I love you and how proud I am of everything you do. You have the biggest heart of anybody I know, and you never do anything halfway. I remember when I told you that you were going to be a big brother and you would have to protect your baby brother. You took it to heart, and I know you would do anything to keep Sam safe.

I love watching you work on Baby or one of your woodworking projects. Even at such a young age, the passion in your eyes is so visible. I hope you never lose that passion and you follow any and every one of your dreams.

I know you’re going to go so far in life. You are smart and talented and I’m the luckiest mom on the Earth knowing you’re my son. You have so many wonderful qualities: loyalty, compassion, intelligence, humor, dedication, and so many more. I can’t wait to watch you grow into the wonderful man I know you’re destined to be.

And Dean, I know you’re worried about your dad finding out about Benny. I want you to know that even if he would never support you, I do. I will always support you, so you love whoever you want to love. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. Well, I think I’ve rambled enough. Just know that I will always love you sweetheart.”

Even though he had listened to the message dozens of times, tears still fell down his cheeks. He cradled the phone in his hand as he let the tears fall freely. He swallowed thickly and looked at the ceiling. “I wish you were here mom. I miss you so much every day and I could really use your guidance. Dad, he fucked me up pretty good, but I don’t want to let him control me any longer. I just wish you could tell me what to do. I will always love you too.”

Dean fell back onto the bed still staring at the ceiling. He would be forever thankful he had made his mom record him a message. He had simply handed her his phone and told her to tell him something she wanted him to know. It was of his most treasured possessions now. Whenever he needed guidance, he would listen to the message and even if it didn’t help him solve his problem, the boy in him just wanted to hear his mother’s voice one more time.

Eventually, he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. He was woken the next morning by the ringtone of his phone. He squinted his eyes at the light streaming through his window. He searched for his phone and found it on the floor, halfway under the bed.

He answered it without even looking at who was calling. “Hello,” he said, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Hello Dean. I must apologize as it seems I’ve woken you from your sleep. I didn’t know you were still sleeping,” the man started rambling.

Dean smiled, even though he was still half asleep. “Cas, it’s ok. There was no way you could have known I was still asleep. What did you need?”

“I was wondering what time you wanted to meet at the lake. You never gave me a time to meet you.”

Dean looked at his phone and was surprised to see it was close to ten. “How about we meet at eleven?”

“Yes, that will work for me. I will see you at eleven. Goodbye Dean.”

“Bye Cas.”

Dean hurried to take a shower and get dressed. He managed to drink a couple cups of coffee before racing out the door. He was glad by the time he arrived at the park, the caffeine had kicked in and he finally felt awake. He looked around and spotted Cas sitting by the edge of the water. Even dressed in washed out jeans and a simple t-shirt, Dean thought Cas was stunning. He hurried over and was glad that Cas flashed him a smile as he walked up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean ends up talking to Cas and coming clean about his past. Cas says he doesn't care about what Dean went through and the two agree to start dating. They spend the next few days getting to know each other better and trying to figure out if their relationship is going to work. When Sam gets home, he makes a big decision with the support of his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Strong homophobia and homophobic language.

“Hello Dean. I hope your day has been pleasant so far,” Cas said as he spun a wildflower in his hand.

“Getting to see you has made it a whole lot better. I hope you haven’t been waiting too long,” Dean answered as he took a seat next to the man.

“No, I only arrived about five minutes ago. I’ve been enjoying this beautiful view. I’ve known about this park for years, but this is the first time I’ve ever visited it. There is a small park within walking distance of my apartment, so I usually spend my free time there,” Cas explained.

“Sam and I have been coming here since we were little. If dad was in one of his moods, mom would bring us here to get our minds off of it. I think we spent more time here than at the house. We learned to swim in the lake. Sam broke his arm in that tree over there after I dared him to jump from it,” Dean described as he pointed out the specific tree.

Cas laughed as he looked at the tree in question, “Why would he agree to such a thing?”

“I was ten and he was six and I told him if he did it, I would do all his chores for a month. Mom was so mad at me that she made me do all his chores for two months. I broke my ankle when I jumped off that rock into the lake. The water turned out to be a lot less shallow than I expected it to be. Sam said it was karma for me making him break his arm.” Dean smiled fondly as he told the story.

“I wish that I had some crazy childhood story, but I was a well-behaved child who did everything his mother asked. I followed every rule and guideline even if Gabe pestered me nonstop to try and get me to get the, uh, stick out of my ass.” Dean tried not to laugh at the use of air quotes from the man.

“I could see that. You’re way more formal than any person I know but it’s one of the things I like about you,” Dean admitted with a blush.

Cas continued to twirl the flower in his hands as a way to calm his nerves. “And just how much do you like me Dean?”

“A lot Cas, a hell of a lot in fact.”

Cas nodded before looking at him with an unreadable expression. Cas didn’t stare at him long; dropping his eyes back to the flower in his hand almost instantly. “Then why did you turn me away the other night? Am I some kind of experiment to figure out your own sexuality?”

Dean felt something in him break at Cas’ pain filled words. “Can I tell you a story Cas?”

The other man looked at him with squinted eyes and a tilt of his head, “What does a story have to do with the problem at hand?”

“Just about everything,” Dean replied with a sigh.

“Then tell me your story Dean.”

“Like I said, Sam and I spent a lot of time here growing up. I met my best friend here, well he used to be my best friend but that’s getting ahead of myself. I met Benny when I was six and he was seven. We became fast friends, practically inseparable. It didn’t matter that we didn’t live close to one another or that we didn’t go to the same school. Every weekend, we would meet at the park like clockwork. As we got older, park playdates turned into spending the night at each other’s house and going to the local library to hang out instead of riding the bus home.

On his fifteenth birthday, he pulled me up to his room after his party. As we settled on his bed sitting shoulder to shoulder, he turned to me and said there was still one present he had wished for but didn’t get. I asked him what it was and all he did was lean forward and kiss me. I was frozen as I never expected that. When he pulled away, he started apologizing thinking he had overstepped but in the next instant I just crashed our mouths against one another. He said the one gift he wanted was having me as a boyfriend and I was eager to give it to him.”

Cas sat beside him quietly but listening with rapt attention. Dean was picking at the grass around him, barely able to get the story out due to how nervous he was. He took a steadying breath and continued with his story.

“We had to date in secret because my father would never approve of his son being in a relationship with another guy. My dad was a homophobic asshole and never missed a chance to sneer at someone who was deviant as he called it. We did pretty good at keeping it from him. After two years of dating, the only people who knew about us were mom and Sam, both of which didn’t have a problem with the two of us dating. Hell, they both even covered for us a couple times to make sure dad didn’t find out.

Of course, all secrets come out eventually. Benny and I had just got home from baseball practice and Sam was spending the night at a friend’s house and dad wasn’t due home for a few hours. We filled up on pizza rolls and then headed upstairs to have a little fun in the bedroom. Dad walked in as… as Benny was fucking me, and he reacted the way I thought he would. He kicked Benny out and told me to meet him in the kitchen.

Dad was furious; I’ve never seen him so mad. He screamed at me at how Winchesters weren’t faggots and how if I was going to be with a guy, I could at least be the one fucking rather than being fucked. I was sixteen and standing in the corner shaking, I was so afraid. I told him it would never happen again, and he smiled at me with the most depraved smile. He told me he was going to make sure it never happened again.”

Dean couldn’t hold back the sob that was ripped from his throat no more than he could prevent the tears that were sliding down his cheeks. He looked at his hands and realized they were shaking. He shut his eyes as more tears leaked and the shaking intensified.

Dean’s eyes flew open when he felt himself pulled into Cas’ lap and the man hesitantly enveloped him in his arms. Dean didn’t fight the manhandling, instead wrapping his arms around Cas’ waist, using the man as an anchor. He tried to hide the tears staining his cheeks by burying his face in Cas’ chest.

“Is this ok Dean,” he asked timidly.

Dean nodded as he continued with his story, “The punch to my face broke my nose. I reached up to grab at it and he took the opportunity to land another punch to my side and stomach. I was left gasping for air as he continued to punch me until I finally fell to the ground. When I fell, my arm was sticking out in front of me and he stepped on my wrist until it broke. Then he kicked me over and over and over. At first, I begged him to stop but the more I cried, the more and harder he kicked me. He didn’t stop until I shut up and just took it.”

When he was done, he squatted in front of me and sneered. He said he hoped the next time I even thought about looking at a guy, I would remember that night. He also said that if the beating wasn’t enough, he would hurt Sam the next time he caught me. He then stood up and walked out the kitchen. I somehow managed to pull my phone out and call Sam. He got home about ten minutes later.

He freaked out of course. He asked what happened and I lied and told him I was mugged and somehow managed to drag myself home. He convinced dad to take me to the hospital which he wasn’t happy about of course. I ended up having a mild concussion, a broken nose, wrist, and a couple ribs. Pretty much every inch of me was covered in bruises. The hospital gave me a few prescriptions for pain, but I just threw them away because I knew dad wouldn’t have them filled.”

He heard Cas’ shocked gasp and looked up at the older man. Cas’ whole body had stiffened as Dean continued to tell his story. Dean started to pull away, worried that Cas didn’t want to hear any of this.

“Don’t you dare move,” Cas growled. “The thought of your dad doing such a thing is atrocious and I’m doing my best to be here for you instead of getting furious.”

A small grin spread across Dean’s puffy face. It disappeared as he continued with his story. “I wallowed in pain for at least a month because of all my injuries. After that night, I quit the baseball team and never talked to Benny again. He tried to talk to me but I shut him out. I wish I could tell him the truth but even if I did find him; I know he wouldn’t want to talk to me.

After all my injuries healed, I hooked up with the first girl I could find. It wasn’t as good as it had been with Benny, but I just figured it was because of how close Benny and I had been. I never looked at another guy and if I even had more than a friendly thought about someone, I would tell myself it was wrong and disgusting. Not to mention, I would hear my dad’s voice shouting at me.

You’re the first guy in over ten years who managed to break through all of that. I wasn’t lying when I told you I didn’t realize I was flirting with you. Once it was pointed out, every little thing you did made me hyper aware and I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t be thinking about those thoughts. Then you kissed me, and it was the best kiss I’ve had since Benny.”

Dean finally fell silent. His tears had long since dried up and after such a confession, he felt completely drained. If he hadn’t been sitting in Cas’ lap, he probably would have fallen to the ground in exhaustion. He couldn’t help but enjoy the feeling of safety that being wrapped in Cas’ arms offered.

“I don’t have words Dean. I am profusely sorry for what you had to endure. I already thought you an amazing person but now, amazing seems an inadequate description. You are more than amazing, you are phenomenal to live through such a thing and come out so strong,” Cas said in awe of the man.

Dean shook his head, “I wasn’t strong Cas. Strong would have meant I never let him do that in the first place. Strong would have been standing up to him and staying with Benny. Strong would have been…”

Cas’ hand shot up to cover Dean’s mouth, instantly cutting off his speech. He looked at Cas with surprise. The man’s eyes were stormy, and his mouth was set in a tight line. “No, it doesn’t. He was your father Dean and to even consider fighting back isn’t in your nature. Fighting a stranger is one thing but to defy your family is another. Your family and friends’ approval means the world to you. You chose to give up your own happiness for Sam. You weren’t willing to risk Sam getting hurt just so you could retain your relationship with Benny. That takes true strength.

If I had endured something like what you experienced, I don’t even know if I could have continued to exist. But you did Dean. You attended college and took care of your brother and now the two of you have an extremely successful business. You are one of the strongest people I know and don’t ever doubt that.” Cas’ tone left no room for argument as he dropped his hand from Dean’s mouth.

Dean rubbed at his puffy eyes. “Thanks Cas.”

“I can’t imagine what you’ve been going through since I kissed you. I am assuming that it brought forth all these memories,” he said with a sigh

“Yeah, that night I had a nightmare that made me relive that day. Sam practically tore my door down trying to get to me. I finally told him the truth. He was pretty pissed that I kept it from him, but he was furious at what my dad did. I told him that I liked you, but I couldn’t get my dad’s voice out of my head and I was afraid of what my family would say if they knew the truth about me.” Dean pulled back a little so that they could look at one another eye to eye.

Cas smiled softly as he cupped Dean’s cheek in his hand. “And what did he say?”

“He said that if people couldn’t accept me for me then they weren’t worth my time anyways. He also told me if we lost customers because of me being bi then he didn’t want them as customers. Overall, he was just really supportive and didn’t have one bad thing to say towards me. I also told a close family friend, Ellen, from the Roadhouse. She pretty much said the same thing as Sam except she said any rude people could shove their heads up their asses,” Dean said with a smile.

“I’ve met Ellen and that certainly seems like something she would say. You know both of them were right. I’m not going to sit here and say it all over again because that won’t accomplish anything. You are going to have to come to that conclusion on your own and you will only do that by coming to terms with your sexuality and then trusting and telling others. I will tell you that the most important thing is the support from those that care about you. If it wasn’t for Gabriel, I’m not sure I would have been able to stand up and leave my mother.” Cas gently carded his fingers through Dean’s short blond hair.

“Having Sam and Ellen’s approval has meant a lot to me.” Dean paused, his eyes moving back and forth between his lap and Cas’ face. He felt a blush heat his cheeks as he shyly said, “Having your support means a lot to me.”

The smile Dean was rewarded with was absolutely brilliant, not even the sun itself could compare. “I will always support you Dean no matter what. I understand if you are not ready for us to be any more than friends. I know how scary and nerve-wracking a journey it can be to figure out your sexuality.”

Cas tried to hide it, but Dean caught the hint of sadness in his eyes. He cupped Cas’ cheek. “I do want us to be more than friends Cas. I know what my sexuality is; hell, I’ve known what it was since I dated Benny. I may have tried to beat that part of myself down, but it wasn’t because I wanted to. I’m tired of hiding that part of myself.” Dean took a deep breath, proud of what he was about to say. “My dad is gone and I’m no longer afraid to admit that I’m bisexual. I accept that part of myself and anybody who doesn’t, well they can get lost.”

“I’m very proud of you Dean. Would you like to go get lunch together and then maybe relax at your place,” Cas offered.

“I’d love that Cas. How about the Roadhouse? They have the best burgers in town.”

Dean crawled out of Cas’ lap before lurching to his feet. He offered his hand to Cas to help him to his own feet. He took the proffered hand but as he stood, he tripped and fell into Dean’s outstretched arms.

Deep blue met bright green as they stared at each other. Cas had a blush spreading on his cheeks and Dean had a cocky grin. “Already falling for me Cas?”

“It would appear so Dean although I have appreciated you from the very first day that I met you,” Cas said shyly.

Dean threw his head back and laughed. “You’ve appreciated me huh? Don’t think I’ve ever been told that. Gosh, don’t ever change Cas.”

“I don’t plan on doing so Dean. Also, the Roadhouse is acceptable. I too enjoy their burgers; they make me very happy,” he replied with a large grin.

Dean reached for Cas’ hand who took it readily. Dean’s hands were large and covered in calluses from years of hard work. Cas enjoyed the roughness against his much smoother hands. Dean pulled him close as they started walking out the park.

“You’re probably surprised I was willing to hold your hand, huh?”

“I must admit that it was shocking. It is one thing to accept yourself, but it is another to parade it for all to see. Traditionally, people holding hands is a very blatant sign that they are a couple. I would have understood if you weren’t willing for others to know about our change in relationship status,” Cas said with an almost clinical tone.

Dean chuckled. “I figured if I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna go all in. It won’t do either of us any good to do this halfway. Besides, I do better if I’m shoved into the deep end of the pool.”

Cas looked at him quizzically, “What does a swimming pool have to do with any of this?”

“Not to be mean but you really don’t get a lot of expressions and stuff, do you?”

Cas came to a stop, his hand falling from Dean’s. “I’m sorry if that bothers you. I know I speak weird as well and that tends to freak out a lot of people. My mother realized how much of a failure Gabe was and was determined not to let the same happen with me. By the time I was born, Gabe had already left the house. Mother had me homeschooled my entire life and kept me under her watchful eye. She was furious when Gabe and I met on accident when I was thirteen. I had snuck out one night, so tired of her constant pressure.”

“Wait, I thought you said you didn’t have any wild childhood stories,” Dean asked with a grin.

Cas frowned at him, “I didn’t do anything wild. I walked to the local park and just sat on a bench, but it was so wonderful to not have her watching me. Gabe sat down next to me and introduced himself and explained how even though he left the house, he had always kept a watchful eye over me. He said it was his fault that mother treated me the way she did and that if he hadn’t been such a wild child, maybe she wouldn’t have been so strict with me.

I was furious with him at first and I stormed from the park and returned home. A few nights later, I snuck back out to the park. I apologized and told Gabe I wasn’t mad but jealous that he had the nerve to be himself and just walk away from our mother. He explained to me that I could do the same and when, not if, she kicked me out, I would always have a home with him. It took me three years before I finally had the courage to do it. If mother hadn’t been setting me up for an arranged marriage with some girl when I turned twenty-one, I’m not sure if I would have ever come out to her.”

Dean wrapped the older man tightly in his arms. “Your mother and my father were both a piece of work Cas. Your mother may not have hurt you physically, but she hurt you in other ways. I’m thankful Gabe was there, and you were able to get away from her.

I don’t mind that you talk a little uptight or that things go over your head. It’s one of the things I really like about you. I like that you’re straightforward and honest. With this whole rediscovering my sexuality, I’m pretty self-conscious and I need honesty right now.”

“I promise to always be honest with you. Thank you for being so kind about all of this. You’re by far the best guy I’ve ever had a crush on. Maybe we are a better match than either of us realized,” Cas replied as he slid his hand back into Dean’s.

“Yeah, maybe so. With the whole pool thing, I just meant that I do better when I’m thrust into something rather than easing my way in. If I’m given a lot of outs or chances to stop, I will take every single one of them. If I’m forced to just accept something, then I’ll adjust a lot quicker. So, instead of hiding my relationship with you when I get uncomfortable or my dad’s voice pops into my head, I’m going to charge full force ahead,” Dean explained as they started walking again.

Cas nodded his head, “That makes sense now. Just let me know if something is making you uncomfortable though. I might not stop whatever we are doing but I might know of a way to make it easier for you.”

“Thanks Cas. I’m really glad you liked me.”

“I’m really glad you liked me as well.” Cas flashed a bright smile at Dean.

Once they reached the parking lot, they came to a stop at Dean’s car. He looked around for Cas’ car but didn’t see it. “Where’s your car at?”

“Gabe dropped me off. He was going to pick me up if things didn’t work out between us because… because I wasn’t sure if I would be in the correct emotional state to drive myself home. If things did work out between us, I was presumptuous and hoped we would spend the rest of the day together and that I would be able to convince you to take me home.” Cas had a smirk on his face.

Dean narrowed his eyes, “Yeah well, you can be a s presumptuous as you want because I have no problem hanging out and then taking you home tonight. We’ll have the house to ourselves since Sam went camping with his girlfriend for the week.”

After they were both settled in the car and were headed to lunch, Cas spoke up. “I knew Sam was dating but I’ve never met her. What is she like?”

“Oh, Eileen, she’s awesome. She’s deaf but she’s a master at reading lips and can speak pretty good English as well. She’s smart and funny and totally gives Sam a hard time whenever she can. She’s actually a teacher like you and works at the school for the deaf and blind. She taught me how to speak sign language. Sam already knew how since he took it as an elective in college. I love her like a sister and I’m just waiting for Sam to man up and propose.” It was obvious Dean was very fond of her as his eyes lit up as he spoke about Eileen.

“I would really like to meet her. She sounds wonderful. I’ve heard Sam talk about her a few times and he gets very dopey eyed when talking about her. It’s apparent he loves her very much.”

“They’ve been dating for years so I don’t understand why he hasn’t proposed yet; there isn’t a chance she would say no,” Dean replied with a grin.

Since they were still holding hands, Cas rubbed his thumb against the back of Dean’s. “Maybe he wanted to make sure you would be ok on your own.”

“What do you mean,” Dean asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, you two live together and your business is located at your house. Sam may be afraid of leaving you alone and moving into a house of his own with Eileen. It could involve a lot of change. You might have to find a new location for your business depending on where they lived. From the sounds of it, you’ve rarely lived on your own and Sam might be unsure as to how you would handle that kind of living arrangement. You’ve always taken care of him, it sounds like he is taking care of you for once,” Cas explained tentatively, afraid of how Dean might react to such a revelation.

They had just pulled into the parking lot of the Roadhouse and Dean put Baby in park, still silent. He fell back against the seat heavily, staring out the front windshield rather than look at Cas. Cas looked at him with concern.

“Dean,” he ventured.

“Shit Cas, what if you’re right? What if I’m the reason why my brother hasn’t gotten on with his life? I don’t want to be the one holding him back from marrying Eileen and starting a family of his own. I’ve always been the one to look after him, I never thought he might do the same thing.” Dean sounded almost in awe of his little brother. He was surprised anybody could care for him in such a way.

“Dean, Sam loves you. He has told me once or twice that he can’t imagine his life without you. You are to Sam as Gabriel was to me. You’ve never left him, and he would never do that to you unless he knew that you would be ok,” Cas said softly.

“I’ve got to talk to him when he gets home. I gotta let him know that I’ll be ok.” He looked over at Cas with a small curve of his lips. “Especially now that I have you.”

“So, you see our relationship as being long term,” Cas asked timidly.

“Baby, I hope you’re the last one for me. I haven’t felt this way since Benny but as much as I loved him, something about you just feels better. I know it’s crazy since we just got together today,” Dean said with a partial chuckle.

Cas reached over to turn Dean’s face so they could look at one another. “We might have just started dating but we have known each other for more than a year Dean. I like you more than any other person I’ve ever dated, not that that list is long. I do feel that there is a bond between us.”

“Glad I’m not the only one feeling like this or else it could have been awkward. Hopefully you’ll still feel that way once you realize all the hang-ups I’ve got,” Dean tried to joke.

“We all have our issues Dean. I can handle yours as long as you can handle mine,” Cas replied without missing a beat.

“Still think I’m getting the better half of this deal, but we’ll see. C’mon, I’m starving."

Dean slid from the car and waited for Cas to join him. He locked the car and then they headed inside. It was busy when they walked in and Dean headed for a more private table near the back. As soon as they settled in their seats, a blonde waitress walked up.

“Hey Dean, hey Cas. What are you guys up to? Cas buying even more furniture from you,” Jo joked.

Cas looked apprehensively at Dean. He couldn’t help the smile that appeared when Dean reached across the table and grasped his hands. Cas felt hundreds of butterflies take flight in his stomach.

“Nah, Jo. We’re here on a date in fact.” A blush was quickly spreading up Dean’s neck and across his cheeks.

Both men jumped at the squeal that the woman let loose. “Oh my gosh, you guys that’s amazing! You look so cute together. Wait does mom know? Mom, guess what,” she shouted causing every person in the restaurant to look at them.

Ellen came running from the kitchen, a panicked expression on her face. “What, Jo, is everything ok? What happened?”

“Did you know Dean and Cas are dating,” she asked, completely unaware of all the attention they were garnering.

Dean swallowed thickly and slumped into his seat. He had hoped to tell just his friends and family and then if other people found out, so be it. That plan was down the drain now. He felt Cas squeeze his hands and he looked up into comforting blue.

“I’m right here,” he mouthed the words to Dean.

Dean returned the squeeze to his hands and the knots in his stomach loosened incrementally. He finally glanced at Jo before settling his gaze on Ellen. He gave her a weak grin before darting his eyes to their conjoined hands. She followed the movement and gave a soft smile.

“Joanna Beth, leave those two boys alone. They want to enjoy their lunch date without you making a scene or a fuss. That goes for the rest of yall, get back to your own food and quit worrying about them,” she scolded the entire restaurant.

Everybody immediately turned back to their own plates and Dean sighed in relief. Ellen walked over to them, a grin on her face. She placed two beers on the table once she was close enough.

She leaned over and whispered Dean’s ear, “Told you it would work out. I’m proud of you.”

He turned so he could hug her and whispered back, “Thanks Ellen for everything.”

As they pulled apart, Ellen said loud enough for Cas and Jo to hear, “Guess the cat’s out the bag now.”

“Sorry guys. Didn’t realize it was a secret. Why is it being kept a secret,” Jo questioned.

“Dean is rediscovering his sexuality and is coming to terms with his past. While he might not mind his friends and family knowing we are dating, I don’t know if he is ready for everyone to know,” Cas explained nonchalantly.

Jo stared at Dean in surprise. “Rediscovering? You’ve always been bi right? I mean, I know you’ve dated nothing but women for like a decade, but you dated Benny back in high school.”

Dean choked on the beer he had just swallowed. Ellen patted his back trying to help the liquid down. Cas and Jo looked at him with concern. He held his finger up to let them know he was fine and just needed a minute.

When he could speak again, he looked at Jo. “How the fuck did you know Benny and I dated?”

“Psh, I thought everyone but your dad knew. Mom, Bobby, Jody, Donna, Sam, Mary, Garth, Charlie…”

Dean interrupted her, “How the hell did everyone know? We never told anybody!”

Jo snorted, “You didn’t have to, it was obvious. What we couldn’t figure out is why you guys broke up. We asked Benny and he just said your dad found out.”

Dean’s eyes dropped to the table. “Dad did find out Jo and he wasn’t very happy about it. He threatened me and made sure that I never dated another guy after Benny. I got so used to hiding that part of myself that I kind of forgot I even liked guys until Cas came along.”

Jo hugged her big brother tightly. “Your dad was an asshole. I’m glad you are able to move past all of that and be with Cas. I meant it when I said you guys are a cute couple.”

“Thanks Jo. We both hope it works out in the long run.” After a brief pause, “Alright, enough with the chick flick moments. Can Cas and I place our order, we’re hungry!”

The tension was gone as everyone broke into laughter. Once their orders had been placed, Dean and Cas were left alone as Ellen headed back to the kitchen and Jo walked off to wait on another customer. Dean couldn’t help the bubbly feeling in his stomach.

“Excuse me, Dean, could I talk to you for a second?”

Dean and Cas turned their heads to see an older woman standing in front of them. “Missouri, hey, how are you,” Dean asked as he stood up to give the woman a hug.

“I’m fine darling. I was just wondering if I could put in an order with you. I’m going to be a grandmother and I was wondering if you and your brother could build me a crib for my granddaughter,” the older woman explained.

“Congratulations! Yeah, Sam and I would be happy to. Why don’t you call me tomorrow and we can discuss details and pricing?”

“That sounds wonderful. My son will be so excited, and I can’t wait to see what you boys come up with; the two of you are just so talented,” she started rambling excitedly.

Dean beamed at the woman. “Thanks Missouri! Anything we can do to make sure our customers are happy.”

“Oh, you boys certainly do that. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a dissatisfied customer. Well, I’ll let you and your boy here get back to your date. I like this one Dean, he’s a keeper,” she winked at him as she started walking away.

Dean looked at Cas, a blush slowly appearing on his cheeks. “That’s Missouri Moseley. She’s been a friend for a long time.”

“She seems very nice and not at all caring of your preference in dates,” Cas replied with a grin.

“I guess not.” Dean’s eyes lit up at the realization.

“What has made you so happy,” Cas asked.

“I am happy. I was so worried what everyone would think about me being bi and it turns out everyone has known since high school. I guess Benny and I didn’t do such a good job at hiding our relationship as I thought. It makes me feel even worse at how I let things end between us,” Dean responded sadly.

“Have you ever tried to reestablish connections with him? He might be amicable to becoming friends again,” Cas replied.

Dean shook his head, a frown on his face. “I don’t think so Cas. I cut him off completely. I mean, it was like I erased him from my life. I can’t imagine he’d want to talk to me ever again.”

Cas didn’t push the subject instead choosing to change topics. “So, I’m moving to a new classroom this year and it is much larger than my previous one. This one is newly renovated with proper lab counters and running water. There is a closet connected that I could use for storage but there is nothing within the classroom itself. Maybe you would know a person who could help me out with my dilemma?”

“I just might Cas. I’ll need to see the space and then I could come up with some ideas. What are you looking for,” Dean asked, excited to have a new project.

“I would like some shelves on the walls to be able to display my models and such. I would also like a few bookshelves for the students to be able to store their books on and for supplies to be placed on that would be accessible to all students. I also want to have a bookshelf to put behind my desk to be used for my personal storage,” Cas explained enthusiastically.

Dean nodded as he listened, “It all sounds doable. Bookshelves aren’t that hard to make, just need to get the proper measurements. Shelves aren’t too bad either. Want any wall cabinets for extra storage?”

“That would be wonderful, but I don’t want to overwork you. I don’t want you to lose business either because you are too busy making items for me. The school did give me a small stipend to help pay once I explained to them what I wanted. They sounded interested in potentially requesting your services to help install more new furniture throughout the school as they continue to renovate it. I explained that it was just you and Sam and didn’t know if it would be possible. My principal told me to give you her number in case you were interested.” Cas pulled the card out of his wallet and passed it to Dean.

Dean took it and gave it a glance before looking back at his boyfriend. He smiled; he didn’t realize how nice it would sound in his head to say the word boyfriend. “If you aren’t doing anything tomorrow, I could go check your new room out and talk to your boss if she’s there. I will call Sam and see what he thinks about that whole internship idea. That could easily be a way for us to accept more business since we would have more available hands.”

“I am free tomorrow. Since it is now summer vacation, I will have lots of free time. I have been teaching the same subjects for years so besides a few touch ups and add ons to my lesson plans and curriculum, I won’t have much to work on. The biggest hassle will be moving all of my belongings from my old room to the new one. I’m glad to be getting an upgraded room though,” Cas said as he took a sip from his beer.

“I can totally help you move your stuff if you want. It would give me an idea of how big the shelves and all would need to be. We’ll make a day of it tomorrow, how does that sound?”

“That sounds exceptional Dean. I will appreciate any help that you can give me. Are you sure you will be able to build everything I’m asking for,” Cas asked concernedly.

“Trust me babe, it will be fine. I was supposed to take this week off, but I might start on something instead. It also helps that I have like two months to get everything done for you,” Dean assured.

“Dean, you need to take this week off. I would never ask for you to work on your vacation. You have earned it,” Cas argued.

“Cas, it’ll be fine. Besides, I can take my time since I don’t really have a deadline. Maybe you could keep me company while I work,” he said with a sly grin.

“I think I could,” Cas replied with a cheeky smile.

Dean chuckled. Just then, Jo walked up with their order. She placed the plates in front of them and asked if they needed anything else. Besides a new round of beer, they told her they were good. She quickly returned with two new beers and then left them alone once more.

“So, got any idea of what you wanna watch once we get back to my place,” Dean asked as he swallowed his mouthful of food.

He watched as Cas’ cheeks turned a light pink and he started shoving fries into his mouth. Dean grabbed his wrist to keep him from filling his mouth with more. Cas stilled, silently begging for him to not press the issue.

“Cas, what’s wrong,” he asked softly.

The man let out a huge sigh. He wiped his mouth off and took another sip of beer. “I have a favorite movie of mine but it’s not really appropriate.”

Dean cocked his head. “What ya mean? Like not appropriate because we just started dating or because it’s got nudity or something? I’m not against nudity.”

Cas huffed and shook his head. “No, none of that.”

“Then what?”

“It’s not a movie that is typically associated with two adult males watching and enjoying,” Cas replied, refusing to look at Dean.

“So, what, it’s a romcom or something like that? There’s a few rom coms that I enjoy. I’m not one of those super masculine, I can only enjoy fighting and explosions kind of guys Cas,” Dean said, a little hurt that Cas might think of him that way.

Cas finally looked at Dean, a frown on his face. “I never thought that of you Dean. It’s not a romcom either.”

“Would you please just tell me,” Dean pleaded.

“It’s Tangled, ok? One of my favorite movies is Tangled,” Cas said angrily.

“O…k. Not what I was expecting but did you really think that I would be mad about that?”

Cas glared at him with a bitchface to rival one of Sam’s. “Considering how typically it is a movie enjoyed by young children and women, I would expect you to have something to say about it. How many men do you know would say that their movie of choice is a kid’s movie?”

“I watch Mulan at least twice a month,” Dean admitted straight-faced.

“What,” Cas said, obviously surprised by the man’s admission.

“I watch Mulan at least twice a month. A badass female who saves her entire country even though everybody had dismissed her, count me in. My mom would let Sam and I watch whatever caught our fancy when we were growing up. She didn’t care if it was a princess movie or not. Dad didn’t approve of course, saying we weren’t pansies, but mom always let us watch them when he wasn’t home. Do you know how many times I’ve called my brother Sampunzel? So, no I don’t really have anything to say about your favorite movie being a princess movie,” Dean replied, his arms crossed against his chest.

Cas looked remorseful as he stared at Dean. “I’m sorry for assuming the worst Dean.”

“One of your exes is at fault, aren’t they?”

“Yes, Balthazar never minded my odd way of talking but he could not handle my fondness of Disney movies. He said it wasn’t normal for a grown ass man to like such kid stuff,” Cas replied with his signature air quotes.

“He was a douche just like the one who threw their drink at you. Babe, I promise I will never belittle you for anything that you enjoy. I might tease you, but I will never make you feel embarrassed or upset about your interests. And if I do, you have permission to call me on it. I mean that, I never want to make you feel like those other guys,” Dean said sincerely as he reached out to hold Cas’ hands in his.

“I give you the same permission Dean. If I say or do something that makes you uncomfortable, please do not hesitate to let me know. Thank you for, uh…not being a douche.” Cas cracked a smile.

Dean chuckled. “You’re welcome. So, how about this for a game plan? We finish our burger and fries, get a pie to take home with us, and relax on the couch while watching Tangled and Mulan.”

“I like that idea very much.”

They finished their meals in silence. Dean was over the moon when he discovered Cas’ love of pie. He ended up getting his favorite pie which was apple and Cas’ favorite which ended up being coconut cream. They said goodbye to Ellen and Jo and then headed to Dean’s house.

Cas had been to Dean’s house multiple times, but he had never stepped foot inside. It was a modest two-story house with a beautiful red brick exterior. The inside was just as nice. The walls were all painted a soft beige color with cream molding throughout the entire house. On the bottom floor was the kitchen, living room, dining room, and laundry room. The top floor held the master bedroom, and two additional rooms, one of which had been converted into a home office. There were also two bathrooms.

After a quick tour of the house they settled on the couch, each of them holding a plate with a piece of pie. Dean sat his plate on the table and pulled up his Amazon Prime account. He quickly bought Tangled and then grabbed his pie before settling back on the couch.

After they were both done with their dessert Cas looked at Dean out the corner of his eye. He swallowed, trying to build up his courage to ask what he wanted to ask. Before he got the chance to, Dean looked at him with a small smile. He opened his arms wide and asked, “You wanna snuggle Cas?”

Castiel

crawled into Dean’s arms with a gummy smile. They shuffled around for a few seconds trying to get comfortable before relaxing into one another. Dean pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and threw over them. They continued to watch the movie, Cas quoting a line here or there.

When they came to the lantern scene, Cas snuggled closer. “This is my favorite part of the whole movie. The design and detail are absolutely stunning. The song is wonderful and describes them as a couple perfectly. I love the ambiance that’s created by the hundreds of lanterns floating over the lake. It’s a visual masterpiece.”

Dean couldn’t help but press a soft kiss into Cas’ ebony hair. “You’re right, it’s a beautiful scene. It’s pretty much perfect.”

“I know it’s silly of me, but I’ve always wanted to recreate that scene in real life. Out of all the movies I’ve watched, it’s still my favorite,” Cas explained with an adoring tone.

Dean said nothing but he could already see ideas popping into his head. Once Tangled had finished, they took a bathroom break and put the dirty plates in the sink. Dean grabbed a couple sodas for them to sip on while watching Mulan. Once he had the movie pulled up, he laid back on the couch and waited for Cas to join him.

Once Cas was wrapped safely in Dean’s arms, they started the movie. Cas found it greatly amusing that Dean quoted as many if not more lines than he had during Tangled. He also was happily surprised at how pleasant of a singing voice Dean had. He adored Dean’s rendition of Make a Man Out of You.

After Mulan was done, they flipped through the movies Dean already had and settled on Tombstone. It was a movie Cas had never seen and one Dean had seen dozens of times. Cas had to elbow him more than once to get him to quit quoting the movie and ruining what was about to happen.

Once that movie was over, they ordered pizza and then started another movie, Iron Man. They paused it long enough for Dean to get up and pay for their food and bring it back to the living room. They ate directly from the box as they continued to watch the movie. After Iron Man, Dean took Cas home. Cas placed a soft kiss to Dean’s cheek before slipping into his house. Dean smiled as he rubbed at the spot before turning around and walking back to Baby.

Dean met Cas the next day at the high school around ten. Dean let out a whistle when he saw Cas’ new classroom. “It’s a pretty impressive room Cas. Looks damn nice with all these new lab counters and such. What subject do you teach?”

Cas looked at his room with a proud smile. “Chemistry and biology. It will be so much easier to teach both of them in this renovated room. My old room didn’t have running water or working gas which this room has both. There are dozens of experiments and labs I can do now that I have this room. Everything is clean and refreshing and I’m ecstatic to be teaching here for the foreseeable future.”

“I’m glad you’re happy with the relocation. I’ve definitely got some ideas.” Dean pointed to the back wall. “I can make you a line of cabinets that will run the length of the wall for you to store your stuff above the counter.” He nodded towards the right wall. “I can make enough shelves for you to have three rows for you to display whatever you want. And I’ll build three bookshelves for you to set across the left wall for the students to use and for you to put supplies on. I can also build you a tall cabinet for you to put behind your desk.”

Cas stared at him in awe. “Are you certain you could have all of that built by the end of the summer? As I told you yesterday, I don’t want you to overexert yourself or lose business because of me.”

Dean walked over to where Cas stood and cupped his face in both hands, forcing Cas to look at him. “Baby, I told you, I’ve got this. Honestly, the wall shelves and the bookshelves won’t take that long. The cabinets will take the most time, but I’ve got plenty of time. Trust me, ok?”

“Ok, I trust you. I will try and quit fretting,” he promised.

Dean pressed a kiss to Cas’ forehead. “That’s all I ask baby.”

Cas leaned against him, tension slipping from his shoulders. They spent the next couple hours moving Cas’ supplies and such from his old room into his new room. They stored everything in the closet. Cas said he would come back later to start organizing and unpacking.

After they were done, Cas told Dean, “Mrs. Jackson, the principal, is here if you wanted to converse with her.”

“Sure, why not. I called Sam after you left, and he loved the idea of offering some internships with the students. He did have a list of requirements that he’d want the students to meet before they could intern just to be sure that they would take it seriously and wouldn’t jeopardize our business,” Dean warned his boyfriend.

“You’ll need to talk to her and see what she would agree to. She is a very reasonable and levelheaded woman. I believe you will get along with her,” Cas said, leading Dean out the room and down the hall to Mrs. Jackson’s office.

Cas knocked on the door and waited for them to be let in. Dean followed him in and sat in one of the two chairs in front of Mrs. Jackson’s desk. He offered his hand and she took it promptly before letting it drop. She smiled at him and it helped to ease Dean’s nerves.

An hour and a half later, Dean and Cas walked out of her office, both of them with bright smiles on their faces. Dean waited until they were in the parking lot before pulling Cas into a tight hug. As they pulled apart, Dean wasn’t thinking as he leaned forward and kissed Cas square on the mouth. They both froze.

Cas broke away first. “Dean…”

“Don’t Cas. I may not have been thinking when I did it, but I don’t regret it and in fact, I’d like to do it again,” Dean replied with a smirk.

Cas slid his hand around the back of Dean’s neck and locked their lips once again. Dean’s lips were fuller than Cas’ but more chapped as they moved against each other. Dean’s tongue snuck out and licked against the seam of Cas’ mouth. Cas opened for him and Dean slid his tongue in, exploring every inch of Cas’ mouth that he could reach. Cas quickly reciprocated and they only broke apart because they were getting light headed from lack of oxygen.

“That should have been our first kiss,” Dean whispered with a dopey smile.

“I must concur,” Cas replied as he darted his tongue out to wet his lips.

“Ugh, can you keep that disgustingness to yourselves,” someone growled behind them.

Dean went still as Cas turned around to face the person who had said something. “Gordon,” Cas said under his breath.

They watched as the man sauntered over to them, a sneer on his face. “Mr. Novak, it’s bad enough you expose the students and staff to your deviance during the school year, can we at least get a break of it during summer? Do that faggotry in your home or something but not here where anybody could see it!”

Cas huffed a breath out. “Mr. Walker, I will kindly ask for you to take your opinions and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine. Everyone on the staff and most of the student body is aware of my sexuality and you are one of the only persons who continue to insult and degrade me for it. I might have students who don’t agree with my sexuality, but they would never be so disrespectful towards me about it. I have reported you multiple times for such slurs and it seems I shall be doing so again.”

Walker grinned, “Report me all you want Novak. The assistant principal is my cousin, so he’s been making sure all of your complaints never reached Mrs. Jackson or any other higher ups.”

“Well, it seems I will be firing two people today rather than just one.”

Walker spun around and Cas and Dean looked up to see Mrs. Jackson standing by the front office. She walked over towards them, fire burning in her eyes. She stopped directly in front of Walker. “Mr. Walker, kindly go pack your classroom up and remove any of your personal belongings. You no longer work here. If you see Mr. Thomas, you can tell him to start packing his office up as well. I will not allow my teachers to act in such a disgraceful way towards each other as you just did to Mr. Novak. Now, you may see yourself to your room. Be sure to drop your key off before you leave.”

Walker tried to argue but Mrs. Jackson refused to listen to him. He finally stomped off, mumbling under his breath the entire time. They watched him until he disappeared inside the building.

She faced the two men. “Mr. Novak, I am extremely sorry that you have been having to deal with that for so long. I had no idea that Gordon was treating you like that. Please know that none of your complaints made it to me or I would have addressed this issue right away. Is there anything I could do to show you how sorry I am?”

Cas shook his head, “It’s ok. Mr. Thomas always told me he was handling it but that it wasn’t serious enough to take to you. It’s not your fault. After the second complaint, I should have gone to you directly. Knowing Gordon won’t be able to harass me anymore is enough, thank you.”

“Yes, from now on, if you have any more issues like this, please come to me directly. Now if you gentlemen would excuse me, I have some paperwork to go fill out.” She started walking away. As she reached the concrete walkway, she turned and called over her shoulder. “Oh, and Cas, I think you and Dean make a wonderful couple.”

Cas blushed as she headed inside the front office. He faced Dean who was standing there staring at the ground, his hands hanging uselessly at his side. Cas felt something break at how lost Dean looked.

“Dean, sweetheart, look at me please,” Cas begged.

Blue finally locked with watery green. Tears had fallen onto Dean’s freckled cheeks as he had silently cried. Cas pulled Dean into his arms, trailing hands up and down his back, side, and arms hoping to comfort his distraught boyfriend. “Sweetheart, what do you need? Please don’t listen to Gordon. He is a homophobic jerk and nothing that he says is true.”

Dean remained silent as he wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist and buried his face into the man’s shoulder. Cas could feel the tears wetting his shirt, but he didn’t care. “Dean, talk to me please, you’re scaring me.”

“Cas, can you take me home,” he finally said in a small, broken voice.

Cas pulled his key out to unlock his car before shuffling Dean over to the passenger side. He fell heavily into the seat and curled in on himself. Cas hurried to get the car started and headed towards Dean’s house. Dean was silent the whole ride home and Cas was growing more worried by the second.

He parked in the driveway and rushed to Dean’s side. He fell into Cas’ arms as he stood from the car. “Sweetheart, I don’t have the strength to pick you up. You are going to have to walk to the house.”

Cas somehow managed to get Dean inside. He started to walk towards the living room, but Dean stopped him. He pointed up the stairs. It was tough getting up the stairs, but they succeeded after many minutes. Dean gestured to the master bedroom and Cas helped him inside before letting him drop onto the bed. He pulled Dean’s shoes off and then lifted the blankets up for Dean to crawl under. Once Dean was settled, he started to leave until a hand grabbed his wrist.

“Stay, please,” Dean mumbled.

Cas quickly removed his shoes before sliding into bed next to Dean. He was instantly curling into Cas. Just like in the parking lot, Cas enveloped him in his arms and ran gentle touches up and down his body. He could feel Dean shivering in his arms as they lay there silently. At least he was no longer crying.

As they laid there, Cas couldn’t help but wonder what was going through Dean’s head. Dean just wished the voices in his head would shut up. He had been so happy when they walked out of Mrs. Jackson’s office. She had loved the idea of Dean and Sam taking over the internships for the school and had readily agreed to all of Sam’s requirements. She had also wanted to hire Sam and Dean to build more furniture for the school over the next five years and was willing to pay top dollar to do so.

The kiss he and Cas had shared in the parking lot had been perfect. The whole day had been wonderful until Gordon had shouted across the parking lot. As soon as he heard what Gordon said, he had shut down. He didn’t hear anything that Cas or Mrs. Jackson said. Instead, Gordon’s words were on replay in his head. The words disgusting and faggot the most pronounced.

The longer he stood there, more voices started popping up, the most prevalent being that of his father. John’s voice boomed “faggot” and “deviant” and “disgusting”. It joined with Gordon’s voice and echoed even louder inside his skull. Other voices, those of his brother, mother, and Ellen were there trying to tell him to ignore Gordon and John but they weren’t loud enough to drown out the men.

Memories had flooded Dean’s mind of the night that John had found him with Benny. The tears fell without his control as the remembrance of the night played over and over. The whole ride home, he tried to ignore the voices and the memories, but he couldn’t block them out no matter what he did. When Cas finally got him into bed, his insides were frozen with ice causing his shivering.

The only thing that helped a little was Cas. Wherever his skin touched Dean’s, it felt like fire and helped to fight back the cold. Cas was currently running his hands all over him but there were too many layers of clothes between them. He whimpered.

“Dean, sweetheart, please what can I do,” Cas asked at a loss of what to do.

“Too many clothes,” Dean ground out.

“What?”

“Too many clothes. Want to feel you,” Dean emphasized as he moved to try and take his shirt off. He had it halfway off before he felt Cas grab his wrists. He dropped the shirt so he could look at his boyfriend.

“Dean, please explain. I’m confused,” Cas begged.

“I’m so cold Cas and your touch is the only thing that is warming me up. I need to feel your skin against mine,” Dean explained the best he could.

Cas hesitated for a moment before quickly divesting them both of their shirts. Dean sighed in contentment as Cas pulled him on top of his body and their bare chests touched one another. It felt even better when Cas resumed moving his hands all over.

“Dean, what else can I do?”

“Just talk Cas. Your voice helps drown out all the other voices in my head right now,” Dean replied exhaustedly.

For the next half hour Cas talked about honeybees. He described different species of bees and the different types of bees found within a colony including the queen, drones, and worker bees. He explained why bees were so important for the environment and how without their pollination of flowers, an ecosystem had the potential to collapse on itself. He described the types of flowers bees were attracted to and which ones they avoided. He told Dean about the predators bees had and the life cycle bees went through. He even went into the mythology and lore of honeybees.

By the time Cas fell silent, Dean’s mind was mercifully quiet. He took a deep breath thankful that all the voices had quieted down, finally allowing him a chance to think and collect himself. He burrowed even more into Cas’ arms.

“How are you feeling sweetheart,” Cas asked in the quiet room.

“Better but exhausted. I feel like I got ran over by a truck,” Dean replied honestly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Dean sighed, “After Gordon’s remarks, his insults just kept bouncing around in my head and then my dad’s voice got thrown into the mix. They were just so deafening and there was nothing I could do to silence them. I could hear Sam and Ellen and my mom telling me to ignore them, but they got drowned out. The more I kept hearing their voices, the colder I got, and I couldn’t fight it. I tried Cas but I couldn’t. They were too loud.” Dean hand’s dug into the sheets, desperate to grip onto something.

Cas pressed small kisses into Dean’s hair. “I’m so sorry Dean. I wish there were more that I could do for you.”

Dean looked at him, his eyes puffy and red from all the crying. “You did a lot already Cas. Just holding and talking to me has helped more than you know. My head is silent, and I don’t feel cold anymore.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of Cas’ lips. “I’m glad that I was able to help. I was very worried about you back in the parking lot. You looked so lost and you weren’t responding to me.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you. I wanted to say something to Gordon, to defend you but, I couldn’t. I just froze,” Dean said bitterly.

“Sweetheart, you have nothing to be upset about. I’ve dealt with Gordon for years, so his insults don’t bother me as much. They still hurt but they don’t affect me like they used to. The first time he insulted me after school I went home and cried for hours. I even considered quitting,” Cas admitted.

“I’m glad you didn’t. I hope I can get to the point where what people say won’t bother me. Feeling like this sucks.” Dean let out a huge huff of air as he dropped his head back to Cas’ chest.

Cas frowned, “Dean, I understand completely, and I would also understand if you don’t want to continue this relationship.”

Dean’s head snapped back up. “What?”

“Being with me is what caused Gordon to insult you and thus make you feel the way you do. You just said it sucks and I don’t wish for you to feel like this. If you were no longer dating me then you wouldn’t have to worry about this feeling again,” Cas rambled.

“Cas, it does suck feeling like I got punched in the gut but that doesn’t mean I want to quit being with you. I told you earlier that being with you has felt righter than any other relationship and I meant it. I’ll get better at dealing with assholes like Gordon. As long as I have you to hold me and tell me all about honeybees, I’ll be okay.” Dean scooted forward enough to press a few chaste kisses against Cas’ lips.

The relief Cas felt was obvious. He had been worried Dean would want to break up with him, but he shouldn’t have fretted so much. “When you commit, you go all in,” he commented as he scraped his fingers through Dean’s short blonde hair.

“What can I say? I’m just pissed that I let him ruin our day.”

“He doesn’t have to ruin our day. Is there something you would like to go do? We didn’t really have much planned beyond moving my possessions from my old room to my new room and we have already accomplished that.”

At that moment, Dean’s stomach let loose a large growl causing both men to chuckle. “Lunch is obviously part of whatever we plan. They just opened a new mini golf course downtown. Would you want to check it out?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “I have never been mini golfing. I would have no idea what to do.”

“It’s ok baby, I can teach you. It’ll be fun,” Dean replied with a tender smile.

“Then yes, I would enjoy mini golfing with you.”

They stopped for a quick lunch and then headed to go mini golfing. Cas was nervous at first and took seven shots to get the ball in the cup on the first hole. Dean may have pretended to be worse just to make Cas feel a little better. By the third hole, Cas’ nerves had settled down and he turned out to be really good. When they came to the eighteenth hole, Dean had little hope of beating Cas. Unless Dean got a hole in one and Cas got a bogey, there was no chance of beating his boyfriend. He groaned when Cas made a hole in one, all of his chances washed down the drain. Afterwards they went to get celebratory ice cream before Cas dropped Dean off at the high school and they headed off to their respective houses.

The rest of Dean’s vacation was spent hanging out with Cas. One day was spent cleaning up the backyard and then spending the rest of it swimming and relaxing by the pool. A few days were spent in the workshop, Dean unable to wait to get started on the furniture for Cas’ classroom. Cas had tried to argue but eventually gave up and chose to keep Dean company while he worked. They ate lunch and dinner together every single day. Dean found that even doing domestic tasks such as grocery shopping was better with Cas in tow.

There had been a tense moment in the grocery store when they ran into a group of Cas’ students. Dean had just pecked Cas on the lips when he heard a torrent of giggles. Both men spun around to see a group of three girls staring at them. Dean had felt tension building in his gut when he realized all of them were Cas’ students. It had immediately dissipated when the girls had said nothing more than they were a cute couple and they couldn’t wait to see Cas when school started back.

They were lounging on the couch watching a marathon of Dr. Sexy when the front door opened and Sam and Eileen walked in. Dean got up to go hug his brother and help him bring in all his gear from the car. Sam stopped in his tracks when he passed the living room on the way to his bedroom and saw Cas sitting on the couch.

Dean, who hadn’t been looking, ran into Sam’s back. “Dude, what the hell?”

“Castiel is sitting on our couch,” Sam said astutely.

“Great observation there Sherlock. Can you get up the stairs, some of this shit is heavy you know,” Dean grumbled.

“Why is Cas sitting on our couch,” Sam asked as he continued to stare at the older man.

Dean groaned. “Because after I finished working on one of his bookshelves, we decided to come in and have lunch before settling down for a Dr. Sexy marathon. I was enjoying some quality time with my boyfriend before my annoying moose of a brother returned from his camping trip.”

The bags Sam had been holding dropped to the floor as he turned to look at Dean, a huge grin on his face. “Did you say boyfriend? You guys, that’s amazing!”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, you can ask whatever question you want after we get this crap in your room. Need I repeat some of it is heavy!”

Sam hurried to pick the bags back up and rushed up the stairs to deposit them in his room. Dean flashed Cas a grin before following along behind his brother. As soon as he dropped the stuff he was carrying, he tried to bolt out the door but didn’t manage to make it far before Sam’ giant paw of a hand closed over his shoulder.

“Ugh, I was really hoping to avoid this,” Dean mumbled under his breath.

Sam gave him a bitch face. “Dude, I’m just curious is all. I had no idea that you two had even planned on getting together.”

Dean rubbed at the back of his neck. “We had agreed to meet on Wednesday, but I didn’t know what I was going to say to him. I went to the Roadhouse and after talking with Ellen and she said pretty much the same thing you said to me, I realized that being with Cas was something I wanted. I told him everything and he didn’t care about what happened in the past and so we agreed to give us a try. Besides a hiccup with one of his coworkers, things have been, well, awesome between us.”

“What happened with his coworker?”

Dean shrugged. “Some homophobic asshole who told us we should be doing our faggotry at home where people didn’t have to see us. I kind of had a panic attack but Cas was awesome and helped me through it. The dude got fired so that kind of made up for it.”

Sam shook his head. “At least you’re ok now. I’m glad for you guys. You seem really happy Dean. I don’t think I’ve seen you like this in a long time.”

“I am happy Sam. I didn’t realize how big this part of me is and how much I’ve been hurting trying to hide it. I am bi but I think I prefer guys over girls. I know I prefer Cas over anybody, even Benny,” Dean admitted softly.

“I’m ecstatic that you’re willing to be yourself again. I wish you would have told me about dad sooner, maybe I could have helped you before now.” Sam dropped his eyes to the ground, a look of anguish passing over his face.

Dean grabbed his brother’s shoulder forcing Sam to look back up at him. “Don’t Sam, don’t blame yourself. I made my decision and I lived with it. Keeping you safe from dad’s wrath was the most important thing to me. Without Cas’ support in all this, I’m not sure if I would have been able to handle coming out even if all of our friends already knew.”

“What do you mean they knew?”

Dean sighed. “Apparently Benny and I weren’t as good at hiding our relationship as we thought. Falling for Cas was that little extra push I needed.”

“Well, even if it’s late, I’m glad you’re finally happy,” Sam replied with a smile.

Dean walked over to Sam’s dresser and opened the top drawer. He rummaged through it before pulling out a small black box. Sam’s eyes went wide. “How did you know about that?”

Dean opened the box to look at the diamond ring nestled inside. “I was putting your socks up after doing laundry and scraped my hand against it. How long have you had it?”

“A few months.” Sam walked closer and took the box out of Dean’s hand, snapping it closed.

“Sam, why have you waited so long to propose? You know Eileen would never say no.”

“I’m not afraid of what Eileen would say. I’m worried about what you would say.”

Dean laughed a full body laugh. “Dude, you’re not asking me to marry you. I’d totally say no.”

Sam punched him in the arm causing Dean to rub at the sore spot. “Shut up, jerk. I meant if I asked Eileen to marry me, I’m afraid of what you would say about all the changes it would cause us.”

Dean sat on Sam’s bed and patted the spot next to him. Once Sam had sat, “Ok, bitch. First of all, I’m pissed that you’ve made that woman wait just because you’re afraid of what I would say. Secondly, I’m a big boy; I can take care of myself.”

“Dean, you’ve always watched over me and you’ve hardly ever lived on your own. You have this need to be able to watch over and protect the ones you love. If I moved out, who would you mother,” Sam questioned.

“Sam, I know we haven’t always had the easiest life especially with dad. It’s because of him that I mother you so much. I would have done anything to keep you safe, hell you know what I did to make sure you were safe. I never realized how much you’d been watching over me these past few years and I will never be able to thank you enough for that. But it’s time we both stood on our own two feet and lived our own lives. You’ve got Eileen and now I’ve got Cas. I know you marrying Eileen will cause us to have to change a few things but that’s ok. We’ll figure it out. Isn’t it time we both got what we want and deserve?” Dean fell silent, looking at his hands.

“We’d have to find a central location for us to move our business to. It’s obvious you would keep this house and I would move into Eileen’s home with her. We’d have to come up with an actual work schedule and we really need to consider hiring a couple more people with how much the business is growing, not to mention the deals with the school,” Sam started listing.

Dean shoved him in the shoulder, laughter bubbling out his throat. “I totally agree, and we will start looking for a place tomorrow if you want. We’ll have to call Crowley up and see what paperwork we would need to fill out with all these changes. Seriously though, Sam, we’ll figure it out. Now, go ask that wonderful woman to marry you so we can go out and celebrate.”

“Thanks Dean.” Sam pulled his brother into a tight hug.

“Anytime Sammy, anytime,” Dean whispered as he hugged his brother tight.

When they pulled apart, Sam opened the ring box one more time before standing up and heading down the stairs. He asked Cas where Eileen was, and he pointed towards the kitchen. Dean pulled his phone out and motioned for Cas to follow him. Dean pressed record as soon as the kitchen came into view.

Sam was standing in front of Eileen and he flicked his gaze to Dean before looking back at his girlfriend.

“Sam, what did you want to ask me,” Eileen signed.

“Eileen, we have been together for years now and there isn’t another person on this planet that I would want to be with. You are the most amazing, wonderful, talented, beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I am so lucky that you decided to give me a second chance after I spilled coffee on you the day we first met. You challenge me and have made me grow as a person in ways I never thought possible. I love falling asleep with you wrapped in my arms and waking up to your soft smile. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you.”

At this point, Sam dropped to his knee and pulled out the box, flipping it open for Eileen to see. She gasped, her hands rushing up to cover her mouth. Dean could see her shoulders shake as she started crying.

Sam looked at his girlfriend, love shining in his eyes. “Eileen Leahy, will you continue to make me the happiest man on Earth and do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“Yes,” she cried before falling out of the chair into Sam’s arms. They kissed deeply before pulling apart so Sam could slide the ring on her trembling finger. As soon as the band was in place, Eileen pulled him in for another passionate kiss.

Dean pressed the stop button on the video and tucked his phone back in his pocket. “Congrats you guys! Told you she wouldn’t say no Sammy!”

Dean hugged his brother before turning and giving Eileen a hug. “Welcome to the family,” he said. She cried and pulled him in for another hug. Eventually Cas walked into the kitchen to congratulate the happy couple as well.

“Alright, Sam, you and Eileen head back to her place and do some private celebrating and then meet us at the Roadhouse around seven for a public celebration,” Dean announced, his face flushed with happiness.  A few minutes later, Sam and Eileen were headed out the door to do just what Dean had suggested.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Cas, Dean reunites with an old friend. After realizing he is in love with Cas, Dean plans a special date night for the two of them inspired by one of Cas' favorite movies. Then, a short simple epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Homophobic language and homophobia.  
> That's a wrap! Hope you guys have enjoyed this little fic! Leave a comment and let me know what you thought!

Once Sam and Eileen had disappeared down the street, Dean headed back inside to start calling people. Half an hour later he dropped his phone to the table having called everybody he wanted to invite. Cas stood behind him rubbing at his shoulders. He dropped his head back and Cas bent down to press a few kisses to his lips.

“It seems you and Sam talked some things out,” Cas said with a smile.

“Yeah, we did. You were right; he was afraid of how I would handle being on my own and all the changes that are gonna happen now. I told him I would be ok.” Dean pulled Cas into a deeper kiss. “Especially since I have a super-hot high school teacher as my boyfriend now.”

“I’m not sure if super-hot is a correct description but a high school teacher is certainly accurate,” Castiel replied with a frown.

Dean stood up and turned his chair around. He sat back down and then pulled Cas into his lap. “Baby, do you really not think yourself attractive? You are one of the most stunning people I’ve ever seen.”

Cas shrugged, “I don’t believe myself to be ugly. I will admit that there are some pleasing aesthetic qualities to my appearance but nothing too grand.”

“Cas, you’re smoking. Like perpetually mussed up sex hair, stunning blue eyes, and a rocking body. You’re a total package. Anybody who’s said anything different is crazy.” Dean couldn’t help but trail his fingers through Cas’ hair, messing it up even further.

“My appearance has never been enough to get people to overlook my other eccentric personality traits, so I’ve always assumed I wasn’t that attractive. I’ve heard some people say that a hot enough body would make up for a rotten personality. Seeing as how no one has been able to look past my weird personality, I figured I wasn’t good looking enough,” Cas admitted as he rested his cheek on Dean’s shoulder.

“If someone only appreciated you for your looks, they wouldn’t deserve you baby. You should be with someone who loves your personality and sees your looks as a bonus,” Dean growled.

Cas lips curved up at his boyfriend’s words. “I’m glad I found someone who finally does just that. I like you a lot Dean.”

“I like you a lot too Cas,” he mumbled into ebony locks.

Cas started to reply when Dean’s phone started ringing. He picked it up to see who was calling and frowned. “Someone is trying to Facetime me, but I don’t recognize the number.”

Cas took a quick peek at the number, “You should answer it.”

Dean looked at his boyfriend skeptically. “Babe, do you know who this is?”

Cas nodded, his lips a thin line. “Please just talk to him and if you are mad with me afterwards, I will understand.” He slid from Dean’s lap and walked off to the living room.

Dean took a deep breath before pressing to accept the call. He dropped his phone on the floor at the man he saw staring back at him. He felt his heart quit beating as he picked the phone back up and stared at a face he hadn’t seen in over a decade.

“Hey there cher.” Even though he now had a full beard, Dean recognized Benny with ease. He tried to speak but his mouth had gone dry. “You must be pretty surprised to be talking to me,” Benny added after Dean still hadn’t responded.

Dean nodded dumbly. “Yeah,” he managed to choke out. “How?”

“You boyfriend, Cas, found me on Instagram. He contacted me and told me how you regretted what happened between us back in high school and just wanted a chance to talk,” Benny informed him.

“I should have never cut you off like that Benny. You deserved so much more than that, especially after everything you’d been through with me. You were my best friend and you were there when mom died, and I just cut you out without any sort of explanation.” Dean felt a few tears starting to slide down his cheek, but he made no move to wipe them away.

“You wanna explain now?”

“It was my dad. After he caught us and you left, he was pretty pissed. I thought it would just be a screaming match or some shit but…it was worse than that. I ended up having to go to the hospital by the time he was done.” Dean went silent, waiting for Benny’s reaction.

“That asshole! I can’t believe he beat you! Shit! Why didn’t you tell me cher?” Benny was equal parts furious and hurt.

“Because of Sam. He said if he even caught me looking at a guy, he would hurt Sam worse than he ever hurt me. I couldn’t allow that Benny no matter what it cost me. I knew if I saw you again, I’d break, and I couldn’t risk Sam’s health because I was too weak to follow my dad’s orders. I know it’s a shitty excuse and you deserved better but…”

“Cher, hush. I understand. Sam was your brother and your father meant what he said. Us getting back together wouldn’t have been worth risking Sam. We should have been more careful and maybe your dad wouldn’t have found us out.” Benny had a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

Dean shook his head. “He would have eventually. Apparently, everyone but him knew. Dad’s been dead for years and I just recently came back out and pretty much everybody, but dad knew we were dating. They always wondered why you and I broke up and why I’ve only dated women since then.”

“If your dad has been dead for a while, why’d you just now come back out as bi?”

“I got so used to hiding that part of myself that I kind of forgot about it. I was happy enough with women and hadn’t come across a guy that reawakened those feelings until Cas. He kind of kissed me and I freaked out cuz I was still in the closet. Woke up the next morning screaming from a nightmare and broke down and told Sam the truth. He was pissed at dad, but he’s done nothing but support me since then just like the rest of my friends and family. Cas, he treats me so well and is patient whenever I have a little hiccup. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know if I would have ever come back out,” Dean admitted.

“I’m happy for you, cher. From what Cas has told me about you, you’ve done alright for yourself. You and Sam started your business like you wanted and it’s really successful. I’m opening up a restaurant soon, maybe I could get you to come take a look and come up with some ideas for the place.”

“Yeah, maybe. It would be cool to design for a restaurant, haven’t done that before. How have you been? Seems like you’re doing ok too.” Dean cracked a smile.

“Yeah brother, I’ve been good, real good. Got a wife named Andrea who I love, and we got a little girl with another one on the way. I moved back to Louisiana after I graduated and have been saving up for my own restaurant since then and now, I’m finally doing it. Seems things turned out good for the both of us.” Benny moved the camera to show a little girl playing on the floor with a couple of dolls.

“She’s beautiful Benny. I guess things did turn out alright.” Dean paused. “Do you ever wonder what would have happened between us?”

Benny nodded his head. “Not as much since I married Andrea but yeah. Talking to you now though Dean, I don’t think we would have worked out. I always wanted to come back to Louisiana and you dreamed of having a business with your brother. There’s no way we both would have been happy. I wish we had split on different terms, but I think it was for the best, cher.”

“I loved you Benny, so much. I’ve regretted letting you go every day since then. I can’t imagine how you felt but just know it killed me to walk away from you. I cried at night in my bed for weeks from how much I missed you. I wish I could take it back,” Dean ended with a whisper.

“I don’t.”

Dean was surprised at the two simple words. “What?”

“Cher, everything happens for a reason. Our paths split and lead us to where we are right now. Two successful and happy men who found love in entirely different people. I loved you too cher, but I think us breaking up was the best thing for the both of us. It allowed us to get what we wanted out of life. Let that part of our life go Dean. You got a good man, go enjoy your life with him and know that we will always be friends and you’re welcome to visit anytime you want.”

Dean felt something heavy inside of him vanish as Benny spoke. He felt lighter knowing that Benny forgave him and still wanted to be friends with him. “Thanks Benny. Maybe Cas and I will come down and visit. It would give me a chance to look at your restaurant and come up with some ideas.”

“I’d like that cher. I’d like that a lot. Look, I gotta get going, meeting some friends for dinner. If you ever want to talk, you got my number.”

“Yeah. Have fun with your friends. Bye Benny.”

“Bye cher.”

Dean hung up and leaned back in his chair. He let out a huge breath of air he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. He never realized how much he had wanted to apologize to Benny until this moment. Dean couldn’t imagine Benny would have been willing to forgive him. Shockingly, Benny forgave him, wanted to be friends, and even wanted Dean to help design the interior of his new restaurant. He was having a hard time wrapping his head around it all.

He got up and walked into the living room and couldn’t help but smile when he saw Cas laying on the couch sound asleep. He walked up and ran his fingers through the man’s hair and admired how soft it was. He reached for the blanket and draped it over Cas. He placed a soft kiss to his forehead before walking upstairs to take a shower and get ready.

When he walked down twenty minutes later, Cas was still sound asleep. He gently shook the man until his blue eyes flickered open. “Hey there sleepyhead,” Dean whispered.

“Hello Dean,” Cas replied, his voice even rougher than normal. “Are you upset with me?”

Dean sat on the couch. “How could I be mad at you? I’ve wanted to apologize to Benny for years but was too afraid to do so. Talking to him helped release something I didn’t know I had been holding inside of me. This was a wonderful gift Cas, thank you.”

“You’re welcome Dean. I was afraid of overstepping boundaries, but I could tell how much you wanted to make up with Benny. When I contacted him, he was desperate to do the same but had also been afraid to reach out.” Cas grasped Dean’s hand in his.

“I’ll never be able to thank you enough Cas. He even wants us to come visit him sometime. He is planning to open his own restaurant and wants Sam and I to come up with an interior design for it. That could be another huge boost for the business.” Cas loved how Dean’s eyes lit up when talking about work.

“I would love to visit Louisiana with you. It has a rich cultural history and I would enjoy touring around New Orleans. Benny said he is only an hour away. Maybe we could go before school takes back in for the fall.” Cas already had plans bouncing around in his head of places he would want to visit and sights he would want to see.

“I’ll have to talk to Sammy and then talk to Benny, but I don’t see why not.”

“I’m glad I didn’t overstep my boundaries, and this opened up another opportunity for you.” Cas leaned over to kiss his boyfriend.

“Didn’t overstep your boundaries

at all baby.” Dean glanced at his watch to check the time. “Did you want to go home and get cleaned up before we headed to the Roadhouse? We still have about two hours until we need to be there.”

“That would be most desired. Will you follow me home so that we could go to the Roadhouse together?”

“Absolutely baby.” Dean felt his cheeks blushing as he asked a question. “Maybe you will pack an overnight bag and spend the night with me?”

Cas’ eyes widened as he sat up and stretched. “You really want me to stay the night with you?”

“I would love for you to stay the night with me. I’m not expecting anything, I just want to fall asleep wrapped up with you and wake up the same way.” Dean looked at Cas adoringly as he thought of how wonderful it would feel to fall asleep with Cas next to him.

“I think this is something I am amenable to. Although, I wouldn’t be against something besides sleeping to occur between the two of us.” Cas stood slowly to his feet and winked at Dean.

Dean felt his brain short circuit and his blood rushed to his lower extremities. He felt his cock chubbing up in his pants and his pants were suddenly too tight. He groaned as he dropped his hand to cover his crotch. Dean watched as Cas’ eyes tracked the movement.

“It seems a certain part of your anatomy wouldn’t mind if more than sleeping occurred as well,” Cas joked as he headed towards the front door.

Dean hastily grabbed his phone, wallet, and keys and followed Cas. Once they both had their shoes on, Dean was suddenly pinned against the wall with Cas attacking his mouth. He shivered as the man’s hands travelled over his body until they came to rest on his ass. He moaned and Cas took the opportunity to slide his tongue into Dean’s mouth.

Within seconds, both men were fully erect and were grinding against one another. Cas used his grip on Dean’s asscheeks to force him forward, causing even greater friction to their dicks. Dean broke the kiss to catch his breath and Cas started trailing kisses down his throat to his shoulder.

Dean leaned his head against the wall, his hands gripping Cas’ waist tightly. “Babe, gotta stop. I already took a shower and don’t wanna have to change clothes a second time.”

Cas sucked at Dean’s neck for another second before pulling away, creating much needed space between their bodies. He admired the fresh hickey on Dean’s skin and couldn’t help but reach out and run his fingers across it. Dean shivered as it shot pinpricks of pain through his nerves.

“My apologies sweetheart. We should get going, don’t want to be late.” Cas opened the door and walked out as if he was unaffected by the last five minutes of frottage.

Dean reached down to readjust himself in his pants before following his boyfriend out the door. Somehow, they managed to arrive at the Roadhouse with half an hour to spare. A few people were already there, and Dean and Cas jumped in to start helping decorate the place. Even though it had been short notice, with the help of all their friends and family, the Roadhouse was fully decorated for a party by the time Sam and Eileen arrived.

The next few hours were spent full of laughter and happiness. Everyone was excited that Sam finally popped the question to Eileen. Already the happy couple was receiving suggestions for all things wedding related from flowers to cake to the dress that Eileen would wear.

As Dean watched people congratulate the couple over and over, he was filled with joy, the likes of which he had never felt before. All he had ever wanted was for Sam to find someone he was in love with and would spend the rest of his life with. He knew Eileen was that person. Everything he had done in his life had been for his baby brother and looking at Sam now, he didn’t regret a single choice he had made.

He was startled out of his thoughts when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist. He looked over his shoulder to see Cas standing behind him. “What are you thinking about sweetheart,” the man asked as he placed a kiss to Dean’s cheek.

“I’m really freaking happy Cas. My little brother is getting married and he’s ecstatic. That’s all I’ve ever wanted was to know Sam was healthy and content with the life he was living. And look at this place, it’s full of people we call friends and family. When mom died and dad got even worse with the drinking, I wondered if Sam and I would make it. I did everything I could to make sure we did.” Dean relaxed deeper into Cas’ grip.

“You have done an amazing job with him Dean. He looks up to you in so many ways. The two of you have built an amazing life. And what about you, are you happy?” Cas placed a few more kisses on Dean’s cheek.

“With you right here with me, yeah Cas, I’m downright jovial. I’ve had a few people say how glad they were that I finally found someone for me. Apparently being with you has made me happier and more relaxed. I’d have to say I’d agree with them.” He turned around so that he could face Cas.

They met in the middle for a deep kiss, oblivious to the celebrations behind them. When they pulled apart, they leaned their foreheads against one another, just staring into each other’s eyes. They broke apart when an arm was slung around each of their shoulders. They looked up into Sam’s smiling face.

“I want to thank you guys so much for pulling this together so quickly. Best engagement party ever!” Sam had obviously had more than a few beers as his words were slurred slightly.

“Alright little brother, I think it might be time for your fiancé to be getting you home. You never could hold your liquor very well,” Dean chuckled as he led his tipsy brother over to Eileen.

Once Eileen managed to drag Sam home, the rest of the party disbanded quickly. Cas and Dean stayed behind to help Ellen, Bobby, and Jo pull all the decorations down and get them thrown in the garbage. After everything was back to normal, Cas and Dean said their final goodnights and headed home to Dean’s.

They were too exhausted to do much of anything. They took care of their nightly routines, dressed in pajamas, and fell into bed. Cas plastered himself to Dean’s back who didn’t even argue about being the little spoon. Both men were asleep within minutes.

A few days later, Dean drug Cas to the grocery store insisting he had some things he absolutely had to pick up. As they shopped, half the items Dean put in the buggy Cas would pick right back up and ask Dean why he needed them.

“Dean, what do you need so many paper lanterns for? Are you throwing some kind of party,” he asked exasperatedly.

Dean grabbed the folded-up lantern and threw it back in the cart ignoring Cas’ question. He grabbed a few more items before heading to the grocery section of WalMart. He put a pack of steaks in the cart which Cas picked up. His eyes bulged out his head when he saw the price.

“Dean, you have steak in the freezer and why in the world would you spend so much money on a couple pieces of meat?”

“Babe, put the steak in the cart. They’re for something special and I have no intention of answering any of your questions. So, hush up and just enjoy being out and about with your boyfriend,” Dean finally snapped.

Cas glared at him but didn’t ask another question as they continued to shop. After an hour and a half, they were finally headed to checkout. Cas slid his hand into Dean’s who lifted their conjoined hands and placed a kiss to the back of Cas’. He paused when he heard a snort behind him.

A customer of Dean and Sam’s was standing there glaring at the two of them. “Alistair, can I help you?”

“Yes, you can. I would appreciate it if I could go to the store without seeing a couple of faggots throwing themselves at everyone,” he sneered.

Cas felt Dean tense next to him. “Excuse me? Cas and I haven’t thrown ourselves at anyone. I kissed the back of his hand and that was it. Also, I would _appreciate_ it if you didn’t use such slurs towards my boyfriend and I.”

“It’s people like you who are ruining the world. Our children see such acts and think they are something to emulate. Gah, you should all burn in hell,” Alistair spat, disdain clearly written on his face.

Dean dropped Cas’ hand to stand toe to toe with Alistair, fury burning in his eyes. “It’s people like you who are ruining the world. People who are prejudiced and judgmental. People who only accept one way of thinking and believe anybody different is an abomination and should disappear off the face of the planet. What is so wrong about two men loving one another? Even if you don’t like it, doesn’t mean you have to comment on it. Ignore it and look the other way if you don’t agree with it.”

“Like I said before, you should all burn in hell. There is only one way, the right way and two men together is not it. If you continue to have relations with males, I will be forced to take my business elsewhere and I have been a major supporter for you and your brother. I would think about this seriously Mr. Winchester. Can you really afford to lose my business,” Alistair asked darkly.

Dean held his hand out and waited for Cas to take it. He then stood to his full height and smirked at Alistair. “Yes, I think I can afford to lose your business. I have no desire to work with people like you.”

Dean pulled Cas behind him as he grabbed the shopping cart and headed for the closest checkout line. He ignored Alistair’s shouts behind him and squeezed Cas’ hand tighter.

“I’m so proud of you sweetheart,” Cas whispered in his ear.

Dean beamed at him, replying, “We are so going home and cuddling on the couch. I don’t know if I’m going to puke or pass out. My stomach is in knots.”

Cas chuckled at his boyfriend. “You can have all the cuddles in the world. Nobody would ever be able to tell that you were nervous as you stood up to Alistair. You’ve come a long way Dean in a short time.”

“Having support from friends, family, and most importantly you are the only reason why,” Dean replied as he started putting items on the conveyor belt for the cashier to scan.

Cas leaned over to press a chaste kiss to Dean’s lips. “I’ll always be here for you sweetheart.”

Cas kept his promise. Once they got home and got all the groceries put away, he and Dean spent the rest of the day cuddling on the couch and watching movies. Sam came home in the late afternoon and joined them in their marathon. They ordered Chinese takeout as no one was in the mood to cook.

“You know, I was surprised you even came home today. I figured you and Eileen would be enjoying some time together.” Dean was still curled into Cas’ lap, uncaring that his brother was sprawled across the love seat. Cas had fallen asleep half an hour ago.

“We haven’t hung out very much since Eileen and I got engaged. I figured I’d come hang out with you guys for a little bit. Did you get everything you needed from the store,” Sam asked as he shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“Yeah, I did. About every item I put in the cart, Cas pulled back out and asked why I needed it. I almost broke down and told him just so he’d quit with the questions.” After a short pause, “Ran into Alistair today.”

“What did he want? Another order of furniture?”

“Uh, not exactly,” Dean said haltingly.

Sam looked at his brother questioningly. “Dean, what happened?”

“We won’t have to worry about any more orders from Alistair.”

“What happened,” Sam repeated.

Dean described what transpired in the grocery store to his brother before falling silent. He sighed heavily and said, “Look Sam, I know he was a big customer and I’m sorry for…”

“Dean shut up. I’m glad you did what you did. I told you if a customer couldn’t support you or at least be civil towards you then I didn’t want them as a customer, and I meant it. Alistair is an asshole anyways. Besides, with the deal with the school and potentially Benny’s restaurant, we will be just fine. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself Dean.” Sam raised his beer in salute to his brother and then took a long swig.

All the tension Dean had stored in his nerves dissipated at his brother’s words. He had been terrified that Sam would be furious with him for losing such a big customer. “That means the world to me Sam. It felt awesome to stand up to Alistair and not have a panic attack like I did with Gordon.”

“You totally came home and cuddled with Cas for the whole afternoon didn’t you,” Sam deadpanned.

“Sure as hell did,” Dean replied enthusiastically and with no hesitation.

“I’m proud of you Dean. You’ve made a huge turn around in such a short time. You’re like an inspiration.” Sam grinned at his brother as he ate another bite of popcorn.

“I don’t know about that, but I do know the only reason I’ve been able to do any of this was because of all the support that I had from everybody. If it wasn’t for that, I would have never had the courage to even think about dating a guy.” Dean scooted forward to press a light kiss to Cas’ forehead. He pushed a few stray strands back behind his ear and he smiled at the man lovingly. “Sam.”

“Yeah?”

“I think I might be in love,” Dean said matter of factly.

Sam snorted, “No shit Sherlock. I could have told you that. You were halfway in love with Cas before you guys even started dating. You’ve only been pining for him for a year now.”

“Shut up bitch. What do I do? Do I just tell him? I mean, isn’t the first I love you supposed to be like special and romantic or something?” Dean was starting to panic.

“Relax jerk. Just tell him when it feels right. I told Eileen the first time when we went stargazing together where it was just the two of us. What have you done previously?” Sam grabbed the remote and turned the volume down so they could talk better.

Dean rubbed at the back of his neck, refusing to meet Sam’s eyes. “Besides Benny, I’ve never actually told any of the people I dated.”

Sam’s eyes got big at the revelation. “Wow, why not?”

“Because it wouldn’t have been true. I’m a lot of things but I’m not gonna tell somebody I love them if I don’t mean it. That would just be shitty.” Dean grabbed his beer and took a sip trying to moisten his suddenly dry throat.

Sam nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it would be. So, how did you tell Benny?”

“He said it first, so I said it back to him. It wasn’t anything special. He said it one day after practice when we were at home studying. Dad and mom were at work and you were at a friend’s house,” Dean explained.

“Well, you have this whole thing planned tomorrow for Cas so why don’t you tell him then. It’d be really romantic,” Sam said goofily going so far as to make kissing noises.

Dean threw a pillow at his brother’s head. “Shut up, you sound like a teenage girl. Although, tomorrow would be a great time to tell him. Thanks for taking the day to help me set everything up. Also, tell Eileen thanks for distracting him so that we can get everything prepared. I just hope he likes it.”

“Dean, he’s going to love it,” Sam said softly.

Dean started to say something but the body beneath him began moving and a moment later bright blue eyes were staring at him. “Hey sleepyhead.” Dean kissed his boyfriend.

Cas returned the kiss and blinked his eyes, trying to clear them of sleep. “Hello Dean. I must confess my apologies for falling asleep. I didn’t realize I was so tired.”

“It’s ok. I was just telling Sam about what happened with Alistair. You were right, he didn’t care that I caused us to lose him as a customer. He was proud of me for standing up for myself,” Dean said with self-satisfaction.

Cas threaded his fingers through Dean’s hair and pulled him in for another quick kiss. “I tried to assure you he wouldn’t be upset but you refused to believe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m all kinds of stubborn.” Dean yawned heavily as Cas continued to massage the top of his head. “I think it might be time for everyone to head to bed. Eileen is going to be over here pretty early.”

“Are you going to tell me why Eileen gets to distract me for the day,” Cas griped at the thought of having to get up early.

“You’ll find out when she brings you home at six but not a second before then.” Dean slid from the couch and helped Cas to his feet.

Cas grumbled as he headed for the stairs. “Goodnight Sam. I shall see you in the morning.”

“Night Cas, see you in the morning.” Sam stood up and started collecting his beer bottles and bowl of popcorn before heading to the kitchen to throw it all away.

Dean was right behind him with his bottles and dropped them in the garbage. They climbed the stairs and said goodnight to one another as they headed to their respective bedrooms. Cas was already snuggled under the covers by the time Dean walked into the room. He headed to the bathroom to take care of his nightly routine before stripping down to his boxers and crawling into bed. He curled up next to Cas and the man wrapped an arm around Dean’s waist. The last thing Dean remembered before falling asleep were a few featherlight kisses placed to the back of his neck.

The following morning, Eileen showed up at eight o clock sharp. Cas had just finished his first cup of coffee when he answered the door to see her smiling face. He frowned at her. “You are far too cheery this early in the morning. I will need to consume at least one more cup of coffee before I am ready to begin the day.”

She chuckled. “I didn’t think anybody could be less of a morning person than Dean, but it seems I was mistaken. Go enjoy another cup of coffee. The museum doesn’t open until nine anyway.”

Cas turned on his heel and headed back to the kitchen. After filling his cup up again, he sat next to Dean and started nursing on his drink. Dean looked just as zombie-like as his boyfriend. Sam was the only one awake, reminiscent of a golden retriever puppy. Eileen walked over and gave him a kiss.

“I see they are extra grumpy this morning,” she joked.

Both men gave her a bitchface while Sam busted out laughing. “Yeah, I’ve already been snapped at four times.”

Dean flipped his brother the bird and took a deep gulp of coffee. “We can’t all rise with the sun bitch.”

“Whatever jerk. Just drink your coffee.”

Once Cas and Eileen left, Sam and Dean got to work on fixing up the back yard. It was three in the afternoon by the time they were done with everything that Dean wanted done. Dean finished a few last touches while Sam went upstairs to shower and pack a bag before heading to Eileen’s. He wished Dean luck and headed out the door. After Dean had his turn in the shower, he headed downstairs to start working on dinner.

By five-fifty, dinner was ready, and Dean kept it in the oven to keep warm. He hurried upstairs to change into his outfit for the evening. He pulled on a pair of tight black jeans that hugged all his assets and left nothing to be imagined. He wore a dark green long sleeve button down that helped to make his eyes seem even brighter. He slipped into a pair of loafers before heading into the bathroom to put on a spritz of cologne and fix his hair.

He walked downstairs after getting a text from Eileen saying they would be home in ten minutes. Dean hurried to plate their dinners and walk them out to the table in the backyard. He went back to the kitchen and grabbed the flowers off the table and made it to the door just as Cas was walking in. As soon as the door was shut, he thrust the bouquet of sunflowers into Cas’ hands.

A smile erupted on Cas’ face. “Oh Dean, these are lovely. I can’t believe you remembered that sunflowers are my favored type of flower. It was such an offhand comment that I made.”

“Of course, I remembered. Now follow me to the backyard for the rest of your surprise.”

Cas looked at him curiously as Dean grabbed his hand and started walking towards the back door. He opened the door and waited for Cas to walk through before shutting the door behind him. It was already starting to get dark out and Cas couldn’t make much out. He watched as Dean flicked a switch on the side of the wall.

Cas felt the breath leave his body. In the middle of the yard stood a large pergola that was held up by stone pillars with the top being a latticework of dark wooden beams. A lantern hung from nearly every available inch of it while multiple floating lanterns had been placed in the pool. A tree stood in both back corners of the yard and dozens of lanterns hung from their branches. Between the trees and over the bushes, Dean and Sam had strung thick lines of rope to hang even more lanterns from. The entire yard was awash with the soft light of hundreds of lanterns.

A pair of arms snuck around Cas’ waist and Dean propped his chin on Cas’ shoulder. “I hope you like it baby. I know it isn’t a boat in the middle of the lake, but I hope it comes close.” Cas turned in Dean’s arms. Dean froze when he saw the tears staining Cas’ cheeks. “Shit, you’re crying. Here I try and do something nice and of course I fuck it…”

Cas slammed their mouths together, cutting off Dean’s rambling. Cas took advantage of Dean’s gasp to slip his tongue inside his mouth. Their tongues danced together as they continued to kiss. Dean started to relax when he came to the realization that Cas wasn’t mad.

They were gasping for air by the time they broke apart. Cas’ hair was even more mussed up than usual from Dean running his fingers through it. Dean’s lips were red and plump from the vigorous kissing.

As they stared at each other, Cas reached out with the hand that wasn’t holding the flowers to cup Dean’s jaw. “Sweetheart, this is the most wonderful, thoughtful, amazing gesture anybody has ever done for me. I don’t even have words to describe how I feel right now. What in the world possessed you to do such a thing?”

“You said you always wanted to recreate the scene from Tangled and I wanted to do that for you. You’ve done so much for me and have made me so happy these past couple of weeks that I wanted to do something nice for you.” Dean’s cheeks were dark red as he stared at Cas.

“This goes above and beyond my wildest dreams. It’s absolutely stunning. I’ll never be able to thank you for making my dream come to life.” Cas couldn’t help but press a few more kisses to Dean’s lips.

“That’s what you do…when you’re in love.” Dean’s stomach was in knots as he spoke.

“Oh Dean, I love you too!

Cas pulled him in for another kiss and Dean let his mouth be claimed by the older man. He could feel his cock hardening and he couldn’t help but roll his hips. He gasped when he felt Cas’ erection slide against his own.

“Dean, I want you so much,” Cas moaned.

“Same here baby. Let’s eat dinner first and then I’m all yours.” Dean pulled away, afraid if they kept going dinner would never happen.

Cas whined but acquiesced and let Dean lead him to the table under the pergola. Dean held Cas’ chair out for him before taking his own. Cast set his flowers in the vase that Dean had thoughtfully already placed on the table.

They dug into their now cold food but neither of them complained. Throughout the whole meal, hardly a word was spoken but they retained eye contact the entire time. As soon as the last bite was taken, they were pushing their chairs back and falling into each other’s arms.

“Dean, I want you so bad sweetheart.” Cas peppered kisses over his face before claiming his mouth.

Dean melted into the other man, soaking up the attention. He parted his lips and moaned when Cas slipped his tongue inside, sliding over every inch of Dean’s mouth he could reach. He wound his arms around Cas’ waist letting Cas do to him as he wished.

“Sweetheart, bed, now,” Cas panted as he gasped for breath.

Dean smirked at hearing his normally eloquent boyfriend reduced to mere words that weren’t even enough to form a sentence. He tugged Cas behind him as he headed to the left corner of the back yard. He was forced to stop when Cas didn’t follow him. He looked over his shoulder. “Babe?”

“Where are you going Dean? I thought we were going to have sex,” Cas said straight-laced as ever.

“We are, trust me. Just come with me, I have one last surprise,” Dean pleaded.

Cas let himself be pulled forward. As they moved around the bushes, he sucked in a deep breath. Dean had laid out multiple blankets over three inches thick on the ground. Rose petals were scattered around the ground and across the blankets. The soft light overhead from the lanterns completed the romantic atmosphere.

“I thought our first time could be here, if that’s alright,” Dean whispered in Cas’ ear.

“Dean, it’s perfect. However, did I get so lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend. Besides maybe Gabe, no one has ever done something so thoughtful for me. I love you so much.” Cas wiped at the tears that threatened to fall.

“I’m the one that got lucky, baby. You’ve turned my entire world upside down in so many ways. I didn’t know how much I was missing in my life until I met you. I love you more than I have words Cas.” Dean hid his face in Cas’ back, enjoying the feeling of holding the man in his arms.

It was Cas who was pulling Dean this time. They dropped to their knees in the middle of the blankets uncaring of the petals that were being crushed beneath them. For minutes they did nothing more than make out and run hands over each other. Dean whimpered when that was no longer enough.

“What do you need sweetheart?” Cas’ voice was rough with lust.

“You baby, I need you, want you in me.” Dean threw his head back as Cas nibbled at the base of his neck.

“We will need to rid ourselves of these clothes if that is to happen. We also need lube and a condom,” Cas reminded.

Dean pointed to a small basket that was sitting next to the tree. “There’s lube, condoms, and some small hand towels for cleaning up afterwards. Please Cas, need you.”

“Always so prepared.” Cas pulled Dean’s shirt from his pants and hastily pulled it up and over his head. He dropped it in the grass next to the blankets.

Dean reached out to slide Cas’ trademark trench coat from his shoulders. “Do you ever not wear this thing?”

Cas chose not to answer instead leaning forward to take one of Dean’s nipples in his mouth. Dean moaned as the bud was enveloped in the heat of Cas’ mouth. His hands wrapped in black locks and pulled as Cas sucked tighter. His mouth dropped open in pleasure as Cas switched to the other nipple and laved at it until it was also a tight bud.

“Cas quit the teasing and move on with it,” Dean gritted out.

“Are you always so impatient when making love with someone,” Cas chuckled as he pulled his lips away from Dean’s body.

“I wouldn’t know,” Dean swallowed thickly.

Cas tilted his head in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“The only person I’ve ever really loved was Benny and we were horny teenagers then so nothing lasted very long. None of the women I’ve slept with had hopes of being anything more than a fling. You’re the first person I’ve taken as a lover since I was a teenager.” Dean dropped his eyes afraid of what he might see in Cas’ eyes.

“Sweetheart, look at me.” Cas’ voice was soft but left no room for argument. “I will be honest and say I am not as experienced as you. I’ve only had sex a few times before now, but it was just that, sex and nothing more. This between us is more than sex and I intend to make sure you know that. I want to ravish you, but I also want to cherish you and bring you as much pleasure as I am able.”

“I want that too. I want to know how sex feels when it’s with someone I love and not just as a way to scratch an itch. I will try and be patient but I’m not a saint baby,” Dean said with a smirk and a pop of his eyebrows.

“You’re insatiable. Now, c’mere so I can show you how much I love you.” Cas kissed Dean’s lips and then trailed open mouthed kisses down his neck and across his chest, before licking along his happy trail leading into the waistband of Dean’s jeans.

He popped the button and slowly slid them down Dean’s hips. Dean leaned back on his hands and lifted his butt off the ground so Cas could pull the jeans off. He growled when he saw that Dean still had his shoes on. He quickly removed them and then the jeans. Dean was now in nothing but his boxers while Cas was still fully clothed.

“Cas, this isn’t fair. I’m almost naked and you still got all your clothes on,” Dean whined.

“Well, why don’t you help me remove them?”

Dean pushed to his knees so that he could reach for Cas’ t-shirt. It was light blue with a bumblebee sitting on a flower and one of Cas’ favorites, so Dean was careful as he divested the man of it. Dean couldn’t help but run his hands over the skin that had just been exposed.

“For a high school teacher, you have an amazing body,” Dean remarked in awe.

Cas’ lips crooked up, “I usually go running every morning and practice yoga at least three times a week. Although, I’ve hardly done either since we started dating.”

“Well, don’t let me stop you. I think I might appreciate watching you do yoga. I bet you look hot when you do it.” Dean felt his dick let out a spurt of precum at that mental image.

“Mhm, I might have to take you up on that offer sweetheart.” Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s dirty blonde hair.

Dean flashed him a smile as he removed Cas’ converse and socks. He unbuttoned Cas’ blue jeans and pulled them and his briefs down in one go. His eyes zeroed in on Cas’ cock where it hung heavy in between his legs. Cas was about the same length as Dean but wider in girth and he was starting to panic at the thought of trying to take it up his ass.

Cas cupped Dean’s cheek causing him to look up and lock eyes with Cas. “What is wrong sweetheart? You look frightened all of a sudden.”

Dean slipped his tongue out to wet his chapped lips. “You’re bigger than I imagined. Hell, you’re bigger than even Benny and he wasn’t small. I haven’t even fingered myself since we broke up. I’m a little nervous to say the least.”

Cas lifted the other hand to Dean’s cheek and started rubbing soothing circles into the freckled skin. “I can always bottom if that would be easier for you. I’m a switch and prefer either position equally.”

Dean shook his head emphatically. “No, I want to do this just, uh, maybe go slow.”

Cas beamed a gummy smile. “Now you want to be patient.”

“Don’t make fun of me. My ass is practically virginal after all the time off it’s had.” Dean glared at his boyfriend with a pout.

“Yes dear. I promise to go as slow as you want. You tell me when you want more, how does that sound?” Cas dropped his hands to rest on Dean’s hips and pulled on the skin forcing the man to shuffle forward a few inches. They were now knee to knee.

“Yeah, th.. that sounds good,” Dean stuttered.

Cas captured Dean’s mouth again as he ran featherlight touches up and down his arms, trying to soothe the nervous man. Even though he could feel Dean’s erection sliding against his, the man’s shoulders were still tight with tension. “Dean just relax. I won’t go any further until you’re comfortable.” Cas bit softly on his earlobe earning a small moan from Dean.

Cas grabbed Dean’s hands and placed them on his chest. He sighed when Dean made no move to do anything else. He pulled away from the hickey he was sucking into the flesh at the base of Dean’s neck. He looked into panicked green and frowned. “Sweetheart, I’m starting to feel that I’m the only one into this. We can stop if that’s what you need.”

Dean blinked as a single tear rolled down his cheek. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He swallowed causing his Adam’s apple to jump. He tried to speak again. “Voices,” he whispered.

John and Gordon and Alistair’s voices were competing in Dean’s head to be heard the loudest. They were so cacophonous that not even Mary or Sam’s voices could be recognized. Every slur, insult, and ill word spoken to Dean was racing through his mind. He tried to fight them, but he wasn’t strong enough to do it on his own. He had never been strong enough to do it alone.

Cas knew instantly what he meant. “Dean, what can I do to help?”

Dean shook his head and sobbed. “Not strong enough, too weak!”

“What are you talking about?” Cas tried to touch Dean, but the man flinched away. He dropped his hand, hurt spreading across his face.

Dean hated that he was hurting Cas, but he also hated himself for not being able to overcome the voices on his own after everything he had accomplished. “I’m weak Cas. I should be able to make the voices stop, but I can’t. I’m not strong enough.” His shoulders shook with the power of his sobs.

Cas grabbed Dean’s shoulders, refusing to let Dean out of his grasp. “Look at me,” he growled. Dean hesitantly locked his eyes with Cas’. “You are not weak! You are strong and courageous and the most amazing man I have ever met. You think needing help is a weakness but it’s not Dean. What’s weak is to suffer on your own and let your demons win. It takes great strength to admit you need help and then to ask for it. So, ask me Dean. Ask me to help you.”

Dean surged forward into Cas’ body and nearly knocked them to the ground. He hid his face in Cas’ chest. Cas’ arms formed a protective circle as they wrapped around his trembling form. “Hold me and talk…about anything. Just drown them out Cas, don’t let them ruin this,” Dean whimpered as his hands shot up to cover his ears even though it would do nothing to quiet the voices ringing in his head.

Cas laid down, pulling Dean on top of him so their bodies were flush against each other. He kissed Dean deeply as he rolled them so that now Cas was on top and Dean was plastered against the sheets. Cerulean blue locked with watered green as Cas stared at the man below him.

Cas placed a soft kiss to Dean’s forehead and whispered, “Frontal bone.” He then kissed each of Dean’s cheeks while saying, “Zygomatic bone.” He then kissed Dean’s nose and along his lower jaw. He said softly, “Nasal bone” and “mandible” respectively.

He then scooted down so that he could press open mouth kisses to Dean’s shoulder then along his chest. The whispered words, “Clavicle, manubrium, sternum, ribs,” were barely audible to Dean’s ears but he hung on to every word. With every term spoken, the voices went incrementally quieter.

Cas cradled Dean’s arm in his hand and peppered kisses down the entire length of it all the way to his fingertips. He repeated the process with the other arm, naming the bones as he went. “Humerus, ulna, radius, carpals, metacarpals, phalanges.” Cas moved to Dean’s hip, sighing out, “pelvic girdle,” before continuing down each leg all the way to his toes. “Femur, patella, tibia, fibula, tarsals, metatarsals, and phalanges,” falling from his mouth like whispered prayers.

He placed a tender kiss to Dean’s mouth, the word, “lips,” spoken between them. His hands came up to rest against Dean’s jaw as he deepened the kiss, their tongues rubbing against one another sensually. Cas smiled when he felt Dean’s large hands running through his hair and down his neck, across his shoulders, to finally rest against the smooth skin of his back.

“How are you feeling sweetheart.” Cas knew he’d done something to help as the tears had dried up and Dean’s body was no longer trembling like a leaf. The wrinkles around his eyes and mouth had disappeared as Dean gazed up at his boyfriend.

“They’re gone,” he replied in slight awe.

“I’m glad I was able to assist you. Is there anything else I can do for you?” Cas nuzzled into Dean’s throat.

“Make love to me baby.” Dean wrapped his arms tighter around Cas as he bared his neck for the man.

Cas licked and nipped at the exposed flesh until a bright red mark stood out against Dean’s tan skin. “Are you sure?”

“More sure than I’ve ever been. Take me Cas, I’m yours,” Dean begged.

When Cas kissed Dean this time, it felt like fireworks going off inside his mind. Sparks of light danced behind his eyes as they slipped shut and he let Cas do to his body as he wished. Dean whined when Cas pulled away from him.

“I love you Dean; I hope you know how true that is.” Cas eyes danced with fiery passion as he gazed at the man beneath him.

The smile was slow as it spread across Dean’s face, his eyes awash with adoration as he stared at the man above him. “Love isn’t an adequate enough word for how I feel for you Castiel. When I look at you, I feel like there is a sun inside of me ready to burst with my feelings for you.”

“Who knew you could be the eloquent one,” Cas snipped.

“Only for you baby.”

Dean wound his arms around Cas’ neck to pull him in for another kiss. Cas quickly moved downward, sucking on Dean’s nipples until they were once more hard peaks. Dean’s fingers scrabbled against Cas’ back, the buds extra sensitive. He reached down to slip the boxers off Dean’s hips, exposing him fully to Cas.

“Beautiful, so beautiful,” Cas uttered as he took in the full expanse of Dean’s body.

Dean blushed at his boyfriend’s praise but didn’t argue. Cas soon scooted even lower, licking along Dean’s happy trail until he reached the thatch of blonde curls that encircled Dean’s cock. He glanced up at his boyfriend. Dean’s eyes were shut, and his bottom lip was caught between his teeth, a look of rapture on his face. “Dean keep your eyes on me and let me hear the sounds I wring from you. Don’t hide from me love.”

Dean’s eyes snapped open and his mouth dropped open as a moan slipped past his lips when Cas wrapped his long fingers around his leaking cock. “Cas, holy shit!”

“You like that sweetheart?” Cas grinned as he slowly started pumping the smooth flesh.

“Yes! God yes, please, need more,” Dean babbled as he threw his head back as his veins were already turning to molten lava.

Cas continued to pump the flesh as he leaned over to tongue at the slit where beads of precum sat. Dean’s hips bucked upward trying to push his dick further into the tight heat of Cas’ mouth. Cas placed a hand on Dean’s pelvis to keep the man from moving. He smirked at the whine that escaped Dean’s throat.

“Patience sweetheart,” he reminded Dean.

“I’m already so fucking close and you’ve hardly done anything. I feel like a teenager.” Dean grumbled before he groaned as Cas sucked the head of his cock into his mouth. “Fuck!”

Castiel smirked around the cock in his mouth and sucked even more into his mouth. Dean’s hands were suddenly gripping his hair tight, looking for something to anchor himself. They tightened as Cas started bobbing his head on Dean’s dick.

“God, so good baby, your mouth feels fucking fantastic. So tight and hot, so good,” Dean babbled.

Cas was proud that he was bringing Dean such pleasure. This was only the fifth blow job of his life, but it seems he was doing alright. The sounds of Dean’s soft whimpers and moans had his own cock hardening. He reached down to stroke himself a few times, trying to relieve some of the pressure.

Dean’s nerves were alight with pleasure as Cas continued to worship his cock. Fire was pooling in his belly and he could feel his balls tightening. He knew he was on the precipice of orgasm. He pulled on Cas’ hair hard until the man let Dean’s dick drop from his mouth. Cas looked at Dean with a pout.

“Was I doing something wrong,” Cas asked.

“What, no? How could you think that?” Dean shook his head.

“Well, you stopped me,” Cas said simply.

“Yeah, because I think you’re trying to suck my brain out through my dick. Seriously babe, that was one of the best blowjobs ever and I was like five seconds away from blowing my load.” Dean’s breath was ragged as he was slowly coming away from the edge he had been teetering on.

“You were close to orgasm?” Cas seemed surprised by the admission.

“Well yeah,” Dean barked as if it was obvious. “Wait, did you think it wasn’t good?”

Cas blushed as he answered, “I haven’t had a lot of practice so I couldn’t be one-hundred percent sure. I assumed you were enjoying it by the sounds you were making.”

Dean dropped his head against the blankets and laughed. “Yeah baby I was enjoying it. Now, why don’t we see what else you can make me enjoy?”

Cas tilted his head in confusion. Dean rolled his eyes before spreading his legs and pulling them up wrapping his hands around the back of his knees. He couldn’t help the blush that spread from his chest all the way to his cheeks at having his hole exposed so completely. He relaxed when Cas started rubbing small circles into the meat of his thighs.

Cas crawled forward until he was situated between Dean’s spread legs. While he massaged Dean’s thighs, he leaned forward to capture the man’s mouth. They both groaned from the friction as their cocks slid against one another. Cas smiled as he felt the last of Dean’s nervousness and embarrassment fade away.

“Baby, want you, please, gonna lose my mind,” Dean pleaded.

“Easy sweetheart, I’m going to take care of you.” Cas ran a gentle hand through Dean’s sweaty locks before grabbing the lube and lifting off Dean.

He squirted a generous amount on his fingers and rubbed them together to warm the gel. He placed the tip of a finger against Dean’s rim. He circled the puckered entrance with care taking pride in the whimpers he heard from Dean.

“Please,” the word was uttered with desperation.

Cas took pity and slipped his finger in slowly. Dean’s muscles immediately constricted around him and he paused waiting for them to relax. “Let me in sweetheart,” he murmured. He started pushing in more as Dean’s walls loosened around him.

“Feels so good! I forgot how great this feels.” Dean threw his head back in pleasure when the finger was buried to the knuckle inside of him.

“You’re doing so good for me, love.” Cas started pumping Dean’s cock slowly.

“More, babe, more!” Dean was slowly losing all rationality as his body was experiencing more pleasure than it had in ages. None of the women he had been with could hold a candle to Castiel.

With the next thrust inside of Dean, there were two fingers instead of one. Cas was glad that Dean was so lost in pleasure that he didn’t even tighten around the extra intrusion. He crooked his fingers as he slid in the next time and was rewarded with the low keen that was pulled from Dean’s throat.

Dean sobbed as Cas continued to rub against his prostate with every thrust of his fingers. Between the stroking of his cock and the assault on his prostate, Dean could feel his orgasm rapidly approaching for the second time.

“Cas, stop,” he panted, barely able to get the words out.

All motion froze but Cas kept his fingers deep inside Dean and his hand wrapped around his pulsing flesh. “Dean, are you ok?”

Sweat was pouring from Dean’s skin as he fought to keep his orgasm at bay. “Yeah baby but if you don’t get in me pretty soon, I’m gonna finish before you get a chance.”

Cas’ eyes darkened even more with lust as he slid a third finger into Dean’s plaint body. Dean arched his back with a weak shout, the stimulation to his body almost too much at this point. If it wasn’t for Cas’ tight hold at the base of his dick, he knew there was no way he could have prevented himself from cumming between their bodies.

“Cas, please, I need you! Can’t hold on much longer,” Dean grunted at a particular deep thrust of Cas’ fingers.

A whimper was torn from Dean’s throat at the feeling of emptiness when Cas pulled his fingers out of his channel. He heard the sound of a wrapper and knew Cas was rolling a condom on. The next instant he felt the blunt head of Cas’ cock pressing against his entrance.

Dean looked into loving blue and gave a weak nod, too exhausted to do anything else. He moaned wantonly as Cas slowly started to push inside his body. He paused once the head was fully enclosed within Dean, giving him a chance to get used to the feeling of being full. Cas only started moving again with another nod from Dean. He didn’t stop this time until his dick was fully hilted inside of Dean’s hot body.

“Feels so good Cas, amazing. You feel so good stretching me just right. I’m afraid I don’t have a lot of energy at the moment so you’re gonna have to do most of the work,” Dean spoke with a lazy smile.

Cas returned the smile as he scooped his arms around Dean’s thighs and pulled him closer, pushing his cock deeper into Dean. He leaned over to place a tender kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “Just lay back and enjoy the ride sweetheart. Let me take care of you for once.”

Cas intertwined their fingers and pulled Dean’s hands up until they were pinned above his head. Cas kept their fingers threaded together as he slowly started to rock his hips against Dean. They traded a few more kisses until the slow pace wasn’t enough for either of them anymore.

“Keep your hands where they are, love. Take and feel what I give you.” Cas leaned back to give him a better angle to start speeding up his thrusts.

Their gazes remained locked with one another as Cas plunged into Dean’s body over and over again. He could feel his orgasm building as his dick was continuously squeezed by Dean’s slick channel. Fire burned in his gut and ran rampant through his veins. He reached out to pump Dean’s cock, wanting him to reach completion before Cas did.

“Cas, close, so close, just a little more baby,” Dean babbled incoherently.

Cas flicked his wrist applying pressure to the head of Dean’s cock. Dean felt his balls tighten and suddenly the fire pooling in his lower abdomen erupted and spread through his body as cum spewed from his cock.

The feeling of Dean clenching around him was enough to send Cas over the edge with a few more erratic thrusts. He emptied into the condom before collapsing onto Dean’s chest uncaring of the cum squished between them.

Both men were panting sweaty messes as they lay on the blankets recovering from their intense orgasms. Cas was the first to recover, crawling to his knees and rolling the condom off his cock before tying it up and dropping it on the ground. He reached into the basket for a cloth to wipe their bodies off with. Once they were both clean, he dropped it next to the condom before dropping back onto the blankets next to Dean.

“Holy wow,” Dean huffed out.

Cas’ lips twitched up. “I must concur.”

Dean rolled over to curl up next to Cas. He laid his head on Cas’ chest while he wrapped an arm around Dean’s shoulders. They stared up at the lanterns hanging from the branches above completely sated and content.

Five and a Half Years Later

“Cas, babe, if you don’t get your ass down here, we’re gonna be late for our own anniversary party and I don’t feel like hearing Sam bitch at me again,” Dean shouted from the base of the stairs.

Cas came hurrying down the stairs, attempting to tie his tie as he navigated the steps. He managed to get it tied by the time he reached the bottom step. He wasn’t paying much attention though and tripped but luckily Dean was there to catch him.

He looked up to see Dean with a smirk on his face. “Seems like you’re still falling for me baby.”

Cas rolled his eyes as he righted himself, smoothing out the wrinkles to his white dress shirt. “Even after five years that line still makes my heart flutter. I will always fall for you Dean.”

Dean pulled his husband in for a quick kiss. “Good to know baby. Now seriously, let’s go before we catch shit from Sam.”

Dean and Cas had been married for five years. It had been a small civil ceremony with around thirty of their closest friends and family. Sam still teased Dean that he had gotten married before him and Eileen. Dean would always reply with, “When you know Sammy, you know, and I knew Cas was it for me.” The following two weeklong honeymoon in Fiji had been some of the best days of their lives.

“It’s a good thing Sam and Eileen agreed to take Jack and Claire to the zoo with them and the twins so that we could have the day to ourselves. You owe three dollars to the swear jar although it hasn’t curbed your swearing very much. The other day Claire dropped her sandwich on the floor and muttered fuck under her breath. I wonder who she learned that from,” Cas deadpanned as he glared at his husband.

“Oh, c’mon Cas, she’s fourteen, pretty sure I’m not the only one she’s heard say that word. Now, Jack, yeah, I could understand. He’s only eight and way more sensitive than we could ever hope for Claire to be.” Even though Dean bantered with his husband, he still pulled his wallet out and dropped three dollars in the glass jar sitting on the kitchen counter.

They had adopted Claire three years ago and at eleven years old, the girl had seen more than any child had the right to. Her parents had been murdered right in front of her and she was only saved by the cops showing up in the nick of time. It had taken a while for her to warm up to them and even though she loved Cas, her and Dean shared a special bond. Two tortured souls finding one another as Cas put it.

Jack had come into their lives a year and a half ago. His mother had died in childbirth and his father was sitting in prison for murder. Jack had the kindest, sweetest soul either man had ever known, and they would never be able to understand how nobody had adopted him yet. To Dean’s chagrin, Jack seemed to prefer Cas but like Claire, he loved both of his dads to bits.

“I understand Claire has tougher skin than Jack, but she is a young lady Dean and curse words shouldn’t fall out of her mouth like second nature,” Cas argued as they headed out the house towards Baby.

“Don’t let Ellen or Jody hear you say that; they’ll rip you a new one. Relax babe, I’ll talk to her tomorrow about curbing her tongue.” Dean opened the door for Cas to slide in before walking to the other side and climbing in.

“Yes, if you talk to her, she will leave that conversation knowing even more curse words than she already does,” Cas grumbled from his seat.

“Aw babe don’t be like that. I promise I won’t teach her anything new. I don’t want to be called into the principal’s office by Mrs. Jackson again. I want to keep the contract with the school,” Dean joked as he pulled Baby out the driveway and headed to the Roadhouse.

“Yes, Sam would probably not be too happy if you lost the contract since the school district has become one of your major customers. Have you heard back from Benny about his third restaurant and what kind of interior design he wants?” Cas grabbed Dean’s hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel and intertwined their fingers.

Dean brought their hands to his mouth and pressed a few tender kisses to the back of Cas’. “Yeah, I did. We have a visit to Louisiana again in our near future. I told Benny that there was a month of school left and we wouldn’t be able to come before then and he was fine with that. He’s really excited to see the rugrats again.”

“It has been a while since we’ve visited with Benny. I know Claire and Jack will enjoy a vacation. It’s been a rough school year for Claire with Kaia moving away and Jack going through three different teachers. A family getaway will be nice for them… and for us. You and Sam have been so busy lately and we haven’t spent a lot of time together in a while.” Cas placed a few kisses of his own to the back of Dean’s hand.

Dean frowned as he looked at his husband with an apology in his eyes. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy, baby. With the new school opening and having to do the interior design for the three new restaurants opening up, Sam and I have been swamped. We never imagined how much the business would grow when we helped Benny with his first restaurant. Hell, we had to hire five new people and we are taking on seven new interns just to keep up. Sam said we’ve gotten requests from places out of state. We have been talking about opening a second branch when Jimmy moves. He’s been helping us run the business for a while now and he would be a great manager.”

Cas beamed at him proudly. “Sweetheart, you know I’m proud of you and I understand you’ve been busy. I just hate when you work yourself so hard. You have earned a break. It is wonderful news about opening another branch, though. Why haven’t you explained any of this before now?”

Dean shrugged. “We didn’t want to jinx it before we even got started. Sam and I wanted to approach Jimmy about it and see if he was interested first. He was excited at the prospect and honored that we would think of him to man the business.”

“He would make a wonderful manager. I suppose it would mean you or Sam would have to travel to scout locations.” Cas sighed at the prospect of his husband leaving.

“Nope. We are leaving it all up to Jimmy. We trust him and Sam nor I want to have to leave for an extended period of time. We are pretty much going to give him full creative liberty and our name will just be on the building. Don’t worry baby, I’m not leaving my family anytime soon.” Dean looked at Cas, love shining in his eyes.

Cas didn’t have to say anything. Dean knew how much Cas hated when he had to travel for business and was forced to stay away from their family. Dean hated it just as much. He would never ask Sam to travel so far away especially with the twins still being so young. It had taken him and Eileen three years to finally get pregnant and he wouldn’t pull Sam away from the joys of fatherhood.

They pulled into the parking lot of the Roadhouse and Dean put Baby in park. He turned to look at Cas and couldn’t help but reach out and stroke his cheek with his thumb. Cas looked at him softly. “I love you baby so freaking much. When I’m working or staying at the business late, just know that I only think of you and Jack and Claire. I promise once the school and the restaurants are done, things should slow back down for a little bit. When we go to Louisiana, I’m gonna meet with Benny for three days. The rest of the time will be spent with my wonderful little family who I love to pieces.”

Cas leaned over to catch Dean’s lips in a passionate kiss. As their tongues danced with one another, they moved closer until they were able to run hands over each other’s bodies. Cas’ hands glided through Dean’s hair while Dean slid his hands under Cas’ shirt to palm at the warm flesh beneath. Both men groaned as they could feel their cocks hardening in their pants.

Cas pulled away first, his face flush. “Sweetheart, we have to stop. We have a party to get to. If you thought Sam would complain about us being late, I could only imagine the face we would get showing up looking like we just had sex.”

Dean groaned as he dropped his forehead against Cas’. “I know baby, but I just can’t get enough of you. What can I say, I’m addicted.”

Cas smirked. “We just spent the entire day in bed ravishing each other. You can take a break for a few hours to enjoy the party that our friends and family have thrown for us in celebration of being married for five years.”

“Yeah, you’re right, baby. I guess it’s a good thing the kids are staying with their aunt and uncle tonight. Glad we don’t have to worry about Gabe hyping them up on sugar. Sam and Eileen can enjoy trying to get Jack to fall asleep when he’s on a sugar rush.” Dean laughed a deep belly laugh as he climbed out the car.

He held his hand out for Cas to take as they walked to the front door of the Roadhouse. “You are insatiable my love.”

“Damn straight,” Dean replied before opening the door for Cas.

They were greeted to cheers of “Happy anniversary,” as they walked through the door.

Dean glanced at his husband and felt joy in his heart at seeing how happy Cas was. Sure, they had their fights and disagreements but what couple didn’t? There were days when people’s cruel words would leave Dean begging for nothing but Cas’ touch and his deep voice speaking soothing words into his ears. Cas was always there for him and never left him. Just like Dean had been there for Cas when his mother had been lying on her death bed and had requested Cas to speak to her one last time. Cas still woke with nightmares because of the words she had yelled at him.

But the happiness and love far outshone the bad. Cas had given him a life and a family that he had never hoped to have. He had thought the happiest day of his life had been when he and Cas were married but he had been proven wrong. Bringing Claire and then Jack home had been even happier because they had turned Dean and Cas into fathers. Dean loved being a father to those kids more than he ever thought possible. Every day he woke up to Cas next to him, he fell even further in love with the man.

Dean realized Cas had caught him staring. “What,” he asked with a smile.

“I love you Dean Winchester more than life itself.”

Dean didn’t have the words, instead he pulled his husband in for a kiss to the shouts and applause of the people around him. He would love Cas for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this! Comments and kudos make me smile!


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